Cavalcade of Exploding Justice!

Corey Anderson

In the Bush administration's never-ending public relations war, top officials have decided to change the name of the "War on Terror" to "Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism." War sounds pretty macho, but I suppose struggle makes it seem less scary, like when you struggle with getting your pants off in the dark after a long night of drinking.The following are rejected names for the War on Terror:

Armed Forces World Tour 2003-2047

The Global War on Lots of Stuff

Battle of the Global Network Stars

The Global Struggle Against Nations That Harbor Oil Reserves


Worldwide Quest for Republican Votes

World War 2.1

Leave No Halliburton Contract Behind

Punt, Pass, and Kick Some Terrorist Ass!

AmeriGod vs. IslamiCon

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