10 Reasons Why Your Waiter Is Judging You

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10. You ask for drinks without ice.

Unless you have an awful toothache or other predisposition against cold beverages, a waiter will take this as you being cheap, trying to get more bang for your beverage-buck by leaving the ice out. Oh, you want your cocktail without ice, or with "just a tiny bit of ice?" That's cool, the barkeep will be happy to pour the same six-count of vodka he'd normally pour, top it off with tonic and a lime, and watch you enjoy a tepid, weak-tasting drink. Whatever you like, but gross.

Here's some cold hard truth: Your waiter is judging you. And it's not because you scanned our restaurant's list of preachy, precious dishes made with esoteric (but local!) ingredients and then asked what celeriac or chimicurri are. Waiters don't care about that. Answering questions like that is their job. No, it's not about what you know, it's about how you act, and your waiter is surveying you to determine whether you're a badly behaved diner. How do they know? Presenting the 10 most obvious signs. By Hannah Palmer Egan. Follow her! @FindThatHannah

All illustrations by Kevin Cannon, cartoonist

See also:
5 Drink Orders That Let Everyone Know You're an Asshole
The 10 Worst People in NYC Restaurants

Published on September 16, 2013

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7 comments
yourpoprock
yourpoprock

Sounds like whoever wrote this is a fucking idiot.  I bet they don't get tipped worth a damn.

ewack13
ewack13

if you don't like people with food allergies, kids, cell phones or specific tastes, maybe you shouldn't be in the service industry.

j_macc
j_macc

I thought the no ice thing was because of the idea that the ice bin doesn't get cleaned out very much, and is often full of nastiness.

k2yeb
k2yeb topcommenter

I can't say it any better than kerasi27. 


kerasi27
kerasi27

And if my waiter has some dumb shit to say about how much ice I want in my drink or how I want my steak cooked, then they can judge me by the lack of tip I leave as I saunter out and never return. 

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