It's January 13, it's like zero degrees, and you're holding to your New Year's resolution about eating healthy with all the resolve of a crispy dead leaf in a stiff wind. All you can think about is eating an ice cream cone. (Maybe "cones,"plural? What if there's some sort of sale?)
Don't beat yourself up! For Dairy Queen, the national dessert treat chain headquartered in Edina, just gave you a reason to feel good about eating their stuff.
First, though, you will have to feel bad.
One week ago, 21-year-old Deienaira Ford was trying to treat her kids to something sweet because they'd been good during a visit to their grandma's house. Problem was, grandma lives in Zion, Illinois (population 24,413) and the local purveyor of frozen goods is a racist creep.
And bad at his job: Ford had ordered one of Dairy Queen's $5 boxes, which should come with either chicken strips or a cheeseburger, fries, a drink, and a chocolate-covered sundae. But part of the order was wrong, and another item was missing. She pointed this out to store owner Jim Crichton, who gave Ford her $5 back -- and an earful.
"He called me and my children 'niggers,'" Ford told the Washington Post. "He said I can go back to where I came from."
Where Ford "came from," by the way, is Tinley Park, about an hour due south of Zion.
Cricthon also took out his cell phone -- a "flip phone," Ford noted -- to take a picture of the young mother, telling her he planned to post it to Facebook to show people what kind of "niggers he has to deal with."
Meaning, evidently: the kind who expect you to be able to correctly put four fucking things in a box.
Ford reported the racism to local police, who verified the story with Crichton; he "proudly" admitted he'd used racial slurs against the family, and used the same word "freely" during his conversation with police. Crichton added that he was "fed up with" black people.
Fortunately, that's not something he'll have to worry about anymore. When Dairy Queen learned of the incident the corporate office snapped to attention, shuttering Crichton's branch until further notice.
"The recent actions of this franchise are inexcusable, reprehensible, unacceptable and do not represent the values of the Dairy Queen family, our employees, fans and other independent franchisees around the world," the company wrote in a statement, adding that all customers should expect to be treated "with the utmost dignity and respect."
And with ice cream.
Though Cricthon told cops he would "be happy to go to jail" for what he'd done, he sadly won't; his actions were determined not to rise to a criminal offense. His only punishments are loss of livelihood and what little reputation he'd built to that point.
Ford says her three-year-old girl has continued asking her why "that man" said those things to the family, and that she's started explaining, "Some people just don't have good hearts."
Jesus, that's sad. Someone get this little girl a lifetime supply of sundaes.