MORE

Worst food products of the year

It's hard to imagine that food hasn't been invented or combined in every possible combination by now, but humans are still managing to create unique new variations on things to eat or new ways to employ food. But for every delicious new idea that comes down the pike, you can probably find some piece of crap product like these Top 10.

(By the way, some of you may be wondering why Whipahol, the alcoholic whipped cream, isn't on this list. Well, it may be weird, but apparently it's not half bad.)

10. DEEP-FRIED PIG EARS The usually reliable Famous Dave's introduced a bold and entirely revolting new food to the State Fair this year: deep-fried pig ears. Dave scored points for novelty, but not much else: The pig appendages made Rachel Hutton's list of worst new foods at the State Fair. They might smell like seasoned French fries, she reported, "but beneath their crunchy, batter-fried shells you'll find the creepy texture of chewy cartilage and unidentifiable hard bits that stick in your teeth long after you've finished."

9. SUSHI PUSH-UPS One of the qualities sushi lovers prize most in their maki is freshness, so it makes perfect sense to cram the rice and fish into a tube with a stick, freeze it, ship it, and sell it as "Sushi Poppers," a novelty product that lets diners eat their tuna rolls like an old-fashioned push-up popsicle. Just push the stick up and bite off a hunk, complete with soy sauce. The poppers are sold in six-packs for $29.99 (or about 5 bucks a roll). They come in several flavors like Spicy Shrimp, California, and Chicken Teriyaki.

8. WHITE CASTLE HAMBURGER-SCENTED CANDLES Nothing sets the mood for a romantic meal like a candle, especially one spewing the odor of cheap grilled hamburgers. White Castle created this new beef-and-onion scent to smell just like (well, sort of like) its famed Slyder miniburgers. It gives you the munchies just thinking about it, yes? The idea did have at least one redeeming quality: Proceeds of the candle sales went to an autism organization.

7. DUNKIN' DONUTS SAUSAGE PANCAKE BITES We didn't think it was possible to create a lowbrow version of pigs-in-a-blanket, but Dunkin' Donuts has succeeded. Somehow this idea snaked its way through the corporate chain of command: Wrap a bit of sausage link in a maple-flavored pancake and sell it as a breakfast-on-the-go. Luckily for Minnesotans, the state's lack of Dunkin' Donuts spared us from the temptation.

6. STUNT FOOD When KFC unleashed its new Double Down (that unholy concoction of hamburger, cheese and bacon sandwiched between two pieces of deep-fried chicken breast) earlier this year, it seemed to goad other food chains into launching their own versions of extreme food that had no redeeming feature other than shock value and cheap publicity. Companies across the nations seemed to compete to see who could pack the most calories and fat into a single meal. To wit:

  • IHOP created Pancake Stackers, which sandwiched cheesecake filling between two hotcakes, topped with fruit and whipped cream (a side of eggs, bacon, and hash browns was extra).
  • Krispy Kreme invented a variation of the Double Down called the Donut Burger, which is, well, pretty much what it sounds like.
  • Denny's came up with the Fried Cheese Melt, which inserted several mozzarella sticks into the standard grilled cheese sandwich
  • Not to be outdone, the Friendly's chain inflicted the world with the BurgerMelt, a burger wedged between two grilled-cheese sandwiches (Friendly's also started topping its pancakes and French toast with ice cream).

Next page: Cheese from human breast milk and other bad ideas  

5. ALCOHOLIC ENERGY DRINKS Any foodstuff nicknamed "blackout in a can" has to make the list. And while so-called alcopops like Four Loko and Joose weren't actually introduced in 2010, this is the year that people realized combining alcohol and caffeine in a stupefyingly potent canned "energy drink" probably was a bad idea. Several states and college campuses banned the stuff. City Pages tried two of the popular and terrible-tasting drinks to see which was worse. The winner: Joose.

4. THE "WINE RACK" BRA In this strange variation on the already-goofy beer helmet, women can now buy a sports bra that can be filled with the (presumably alcoholic) beverage of your choice. With the so-called WineRack, women can be drunk and big-busted at social gatherings--sure to make them a hit at any party.

3. BACON SODA The bacon trend officially went too far when the Jones Soda Co. came out with this bacon-flavored pop. According to a taste test by the New York Daily News, half of the more than 40 people offered a free sample refused to even touch the stuff.

2. BREAST MILK CHEESE What might be most amazing about this concept is that it apparently took several thousand years of civilization for someone to try it. But according to an Associated Press story earlier this year, Manhattan chef Daniel Angerer blogged about creating a recipe for a cheese made from his wife's excess breast milk. He even embellished it with chef touches like rolling it in porcini mushroom powder with burned onion chutney and encrusting it with maple caramelized pumpkin seeds.

1. FOOD WITH SEMEN We know what you were thinking: What could possibly be worse than bacon soda or breast milk cheese? This: Author Paul Photenhauer came out with a cookbook of recipes made with semen.


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >