Being a kid beats being an adult on far too many levels. No 40-hour work week, brand new crayons with their perfectly pointed tips, those little noise makers that explode when thrown to the ground, and ice cream. Ice cream! Why do we not eat this every day now that we don’t have parents telling us we cannot?
There is an answer to this predicament. A bridge, if you will, to bring ice cream back in to our adult lives: Add booze to it, of course.
Just like any good meal that can be prepared at home at a fraction of the cost, boozy ice cream is technically always available to you. But somehow sipping an alcohol-soaked pint of Ben and Jerry's on your couch feels like surrendering to a slow, lactose-fueled death, while sitting at a bar drinking an adult milkshake feels like an empowering celebration of life!
Get out of the house and embrace your indulgence to its fullest potential.
222 E. Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis
This U of M darling has us whipped into a frenzy over its $10.95 adult malts. There are classics like the Pink Squirrel (vanilla ice cream, Creme De Noya, and Creme De Cacao) as well as a Captain Morgan and cherry coke float. Our favorite is the smooth and subtle Golden Cadillac: vanilla ice cream, Galliano, and white creme de cacao. Wear your finest power suit and sip away as you make the most powerful power play of all — drinking ice cream and booze any time you damn well please.
858 Payne Ave., St. Paul
Tucked away in the Payne-Phalen neighborhood of east St. Paul is a powerhouse of quality family dining, expertly mixed cocktails, affordable prices, and some of the best spiked ice cream treats in the Twin Cities. For around $7 a pop, you can sample any or all of their eight flavors, from key lime pie to strawberry dreamshake. In our favorite, local candy icon Pearson's gets a boozy makeover to great results: The Salted Nut Roll is loaded with Frangelico, white cacao, caramel, and salty peanuts. It will be gone before you can order your second round.
17 E. 26th St., Minneapolis
Head to Little Tijuana at 26th Street and Nicollet Avenue, where the vintage ice cream cocktail menu offers five choices — five delicious choices, all of which you will be tempted to order. Control yourself and order the Oreo mudslide, made with vanilla ice cream and blended with with Kahlua, Baileys, vodka, and crushed Oreo cookies — your craving doesn’t stand a chance. And as Mexican as it may not be, definitely order the cheesy waffle fries to accompany your sweet treat; you'll need sustenance when the booze starts to hit. And on a completely random but very pleasant side note, Little Tijuana’s little ladies’ room is quite possibly one of the cleanest in the city. They take their “Notify Staff if Restroom Needs Attendance” sign to heart. Boozy ice cream and clean restrooms: two things that make everyone happy.
Calhoun Village Shopping Center, 3200 W. Lake St., Minneapolis
Burger Jones’ list of Hard Shakes is exactly what it is. Thick, delicious ice cream and booze so nicely balanced that you'll think you got stiffed by the bartender while sucking it down — only to realize you should probably eat dinner with a tall glass of water before considering a drive home. With five choices on the hard shake menu, it’s hard to imagine not finding something you’ll like. But, if you so desire, the good folks at Burger Jones are wiling to booze up any one of their 12 additional milkshake options. For all you art majors, that’s 17 boozy milkshake choices. Seventeen. Start with the Dirty Den Mother and ponder life for a bit. You’re sure to work out some mental kinks with a mix of Creme De Menthe, Creme De Cocao, chocolate sauce, and mint.
Also of note, though not technically a milkshake:
Le Town Talk
2707 E. Lake St., Minneapolis
Good ol' greasy diner food always goes well with a milkshake. And Town Talk Diner amped theirs up right good with a 21+ twist. Sadly, this is a thing of the past. But don’t give up on them just yet. Distant (French) cousin Le Town Talk took over the location, at East Lake Street and 27th Avenue, and has come up with his own versions of cool summer treats. Though there may not be ice cream in these bad boys, we’ll be damned if they aren’t refreshing on a hot summer evening. Try the Cool Love, made with rum, lime, fresh cucumber and mint, and verbena syrup. After all those milkshakes, you'll be fumbling for your Lactaid and looking for something on the lighter side.