Trashiest Breastaurants

A new uniform company claims to be "The Breast in the Business!"

A new uniform company claims to be "The Breast in the Business!"

Breastaurants--yep, that's really a word--are big business. While casual chains like Applebees and such have been slumping, restaurants that hire busty women to serve their beers and burgers while wearing peekaboo tops are poised to be one of the fastest-growing restaurant categories, according to Entrepreneur magazine.

These restaurants aren't really about the food, or even the UFC fights on the big screen TVs. The breastaurant's key point of differentiation is that it seeks to satisfy the male desire for comely female attention. While most diners expect waitstaff to be friendly and competent, Entrepreneur explains that breastaurant customers seek a "meaningful connection" from their server--a relationship need most people easily meet via significant others, friends, family, and colleagues, no?

Ron Lynch, CEO of Tempe, Ariz.-based Tilted Kilt, explains: "One of our mantras during training is that we want to make a connection with our guests. We practice 'touchology,' which means touch the table often, and make guests feel at home. Sometimes waitresses are providing the best part of a guest's day." Really? Yikes!

So, without further ado, a look at the top 5 brestaurants, from classiest to trashiest:


5. Brick House Tavern and Tap Slogan: Dispensing Happiness to the Common Man Story: Owned by Ignite Restaurant Group, the company behind Joe's Crab Shack, Brick is beer focused, offering 100-ounce beer bongs with their own taps. There are 17 Bricks, concentrated in Florida, Texas, and the Rust Belt. Trash Factor: Brick House downplays its girls more than most chains, but while the servers' uniforms do have sleeves, the necklines are plunging enough to show plenty of cleavage and the hems short enough to reveal belly button rings and tramp stamps.

4. Bone Daddy's House of Smoke Slogan: The other reason you're here (next to a picture of food). Story: Founded in 2000, Bone Daddy's has just four locations in Texas. Trash Factor: The servers' tops are very similar to the ones at Brick House, but the zippered v-neck encourage's the shirt's opening to creep well below the bustline. The web site regularly highlights different servers as the featured "Daddy's Girl."


3. Tilted Kilt Slogan: A Cold Beer Never Looked So Good Story: The original Celtic Pub-themed breastaurant was launched in Las Vegas's Rio Casino. A franchisee has opened nearly 80 stores in about 20 states, mostly in the South and the Rust Belt. Trash Factor: The gals do cover their bikini tops with half-sweaters, but some of the kilts ride so low on the hips that they barely cover the public bone. There's an annual Kilt Girl calendar, too.

2. Twin Peaks Slogan: Eats * Drinks * Scenic Views Story: Randy DeWitt grew his Dallas-area Rockfish Seafood Grill franchise too quickly and instead of shutting down stores, he turned them into mountain lodge-themed breastaurants. The chain now reaches five states. Trash Factor: The "Lumber Jills" wear lumberjack plaid bikini tops that do have sleeves, but they don't cover much else. The khaki shorts are itty bitty. On the web site, there are plenty of calendar images and a photo gallery that's updated daily. Innuendo is everywhere: "Mountain tops should always be within the reach of a man." "Get to home plate at the Peaks." etc. Birthday boys receive a set of antlers mounted on a plaque that reads, "I saw some nice RACKS on my birthday."

1. Hooters Slogan: Delightfully tacky yet unrefined. Story: Hooters is the original American breastaurant, founded in 1983. There are nearly 500 Hooters locations in the U.S. with stores in almost 30 other countries. Trash Factor: Hooters puts its Hooters Girls right at the forefront, and while the tank tops offer relatively modest coverage, a new cropped-waist shirt has recently been approved, harkening back to the original knotted-to-bare-the-midriff shirt. The orange running shorts are short enough to show a little cheek. Hooters has extended its brand to include a calendar, magazine, and even a pageant. For wannabee employees, the website includes grooming standards for Hooters Girls with advice for hair, makeup, and exercise.