Top 5: Worst Halloween candies ever


Nothing's worse than getting a box of raisins or a couple Tootsie rolls chucked in your Halloween bag. Well, actually, there is. What's worse is when you have to resort to them two weeks later when you're combing through the candy dregs, looking for that possibly hidden Kit Kat or overlooked roll of Smarties, with little to no success. There's a lot of candy choices people can make to inspire enmity among neighborhood kiddos (including the worst invention in recent memory: the bite-sized candy bar. WTF!) Here's our Top 5 (potentially egging-inducing) worst Halloween candies:

1. Peanut butter kisses. Barf. These things have just got to be the worst. Latte-like in color, waxy and taffy-like in texture, with an unappealing flavor like chemical-laced peanut butter mixed with milk. The little swipe of peanut butter inside doesn't help.

2. Candy corn. For reasons that are very unclear, many people harbor a deep devotion to candy corn. What these people don't know is that candy corn is deeply gross. It tastes like overprocessed sugar mixed with wet sand, plus since it's usually loose, it gets all manhandled and misshapen in the bottom of your bag. It's admittedly not bad when mixed with a mouthful of peanuts as an on-the-fly Salted Nut Roll, but on its own? No.

3. Mellowcreme pumpkins. Closely related to candy corn, but with their own distinct grossness. Candy corn you can at least swallow whole or only chew very briefly. But these, there's no avoiding a mouthwash-inducing mouthful of sickening sweetness that seems to expand when you're chewing it. Gummi pumpkins are totally ok though.


4. Dubble Bubble gum. You can't even wrestle a bubble out of these little chalk-covered pellets. It takes serious strategy to gnaw in to one of these. Plus they taste sour, like gum that's already been chewed, reformed and left for years. So why bother?


5. Tootsie rolls. This one's probably the most arguable, but come on, let's not mince words: If you give out Tootsie rolls, you're just cheap. It's not like you're the health freak who gives out toothbrushes. Since you're already on board with childhood obesity and teethrot, why are you wasting time on Tootsie rolls? Go ahead and bring out the big guns.