1. Ridiculous gifts are fun, but would you be willing to throw down $1,000 for the reaction on a friend's face when they receive a 150-lb fruitcake shaped like Texas? Gladys' Bakery in Weimar, Texas, can make it happen for you...but do you really know someone who would eat a single pound of fruitcake, let alone 150?
2. Apparently bigger is better in pretty much any form this holiday season, which is why 4,000 calories of gummy goodness can be yours if you pay $27.95 for a giant gummy worm. There's also options like giant gummy bears (on a stick!) for gut rot that will last long after the holiday season is over.
3. Have a friend who can't stop posting ultrasound pics on Facebook? Then tell her to put her energy to good use with a fetus cookie cutter. Because while you don't want to stare at squid-like pictures of her new baby, you wouldn't mind eating a delicious sugary version of it. Check out this cookie cutter in action (we especially enjoyed the song "Fetal Bites," played to the tune of "Edelweiss")!
4. For more adventurous folks, scorpion lollipops might be the way to go. Encased in standard sugary lollipop candy, these scorpions are bred especially for human consumption. A dare-to-lick Christmas present that might get the same reaction from your partner as edible unds.
5. Of course, not all weird food gifts have to be edible. The Peter Petrie egg separator is a ceramic head you crack your egg into, and the white portion oozes out of the giant nose in the most unappetizing fashion imaginable. $15.99 seems like a small price to pay for endless snot-esque fun in the kitchen.