Top 5: Lame food-related Halloween costumes


Fortunately, California Raisins are pretty much ancient history so you don't really see any of those garbage bag and sunglasses get-ups come this time of year. Giant, brown garbage bags, hula hoops and other embarrassing accessories and over-the-top garments continue to feature prominently in homemade Halloween costumes resembling food these days though.

That's not to say that simple things around the house can't make some badass food costumes though. Balloons, for example, can make for an awesome bunch of grapes. Even plain old cardboard can be awesome. A friend once made two big Cheerios out of cardboard, for front and back, carried a fake knife and called herself a "Cereal Killer." Not bad for a sixth grader. So it doesn't have to be hard. And at the end of the day, homemade costumes (even California raisin ones) beat out anything else, so don't sweat it.

Here's our Top 5 most humiliating ideas:

1. Anything involving the instruction "Insert [name of company] logo here." Exhibit A: Domino's self-proclaimed "creative, last-minute costume idea that won't break the bank," involving a giant piece of pointed fabric, iron-on sausages and mushrooms and lots of product placement. Poor kid.

2. Anything involving a pillowcase. Toothpaste costumes come to mind. How many of you have dressed up as a tube of Crest? Be honest, now. Get a great big pillowcase, rip holes for your head and ears and write out (sometimes in straight-up plain old handwriting) your brand of choice, which is doubly lame for reasons sketched out in #1. Ketchup and mustard are also popular uses of pillowcases, though felt seems to be more popular. Using a pillowcase as a treat bag is totally acceptable though.


3. Anything involving a big, brown garbage bag. Just because the days of California Raisins are long gone doesn't mean anyone has shaken the idea that using an enormous piece of plastic meant to hold your refuse as a Halloween costume is somehow a good idea. M&M's are a perennially popular usage. For quick instructions on usage, see #2.

4. Anything involving a hula hoop. Someone who will remain nameless went as a giant Hershey's kiss one year involving a hula hoop, yards and yards of silver fabric, and some sweet silver sneakers. NOTE: Hula hoops are not cool for use in costumes. For starters, it just looks weird. Also, wearing a hula hoop, no matter where, is not conducive to sitting. Also, people will laugh, and not in a good and friendly way.

5. Pretty much anything you put on an infant. Poor, defenseless infants. There are so so many ways to torture an infant via Halloween costumes: There's hot dogs, peapods, S'Mores ... Many infant costumes also seem to show up on small dogs.

What foods have you dressed up as?