Top 5 foodie Halloween costumes
This Halloween, the Hot Dish plans to shut off the porch light and keep all the candy to ourselves, because we're waaaay too scared of encountering one or more meat dress-clad Lady GaGa impersonators--and having to endure the stench of rotting flesh while we get close enough to hand over the treats.
Still, with our favorite fall holiday just a few weeks away, we thought some of you foodies might want to get started planning your outfits.
Perfectionist types won't settle for some crappy ghost getup made from cutting a couple of eye holes in a white sheet: You'll be scouring the internet for the perfect edible outfit, whipping out the plastic, and placing your order.
When we did just that, and here are a few of the cutest, wackiest, and trashiest food-related costumes we found:
Adult Tomato Costume Since when did produce take Broadway? Or why does a tomato costume come with Mickey Mouse-esque, oversized, white-gloved jazz hands?
Here's what the marketing copy has to say about this "very colorful and alive ensemble of rich red and green--Christmas-y colors" that will make you "worth a second look when wearing this." ..."the big white hands that are worth a chuckle or two, and even more, as they dangle when you shake them up in the air." Uhh...okay?
Also, it sounds like the writer who penned this line may have been hitting the sauce a little too hard: "Grab one now and be "saucily" sociable as the guests will absolutely have fun with a pleasantly plump tomato."
Kids' Hot Dog Costume Didn't today's young parents grow up in an era when airports offered to x-ray kids' candy sacs to make sure no weirdos had booby trapped their treats with pins?
Sure, the outfit's cute and all, with it's wiggly mustard stripe straight up the tummy--and its very functional hot dog hood to keep junior warm and cozy. But in a day and age everyone's trying to protect their costumed charges from child predators, we're not sure why they'd willingly dress their kid as a wiener.
Adult Onion Costume The marketing copy in the description of this Adult Onion Costume is as mysterious as they costume itself. "[Onions] can also be used as spices, as what Ferdinand Magellan serached [sic] for when he led his men to a cruise to many parts of the world. But you do not have to look far, there is an onion here. Get one now and feel proud to be a spice."
Feel proud to be a spice! Who would not feel proud to be a spice?
"Toss this Onion Costume in with some of our other vegetable costumes to create a great salad with friends or relatives," the copy suggests, though, oddly enough it has nothing to say about the fibrous roots coming indelicately out of the model's crotch.
Chinese Take Out Costume Not sure when Halloween costumes made the transition such that an adult woman could no longer dress as a "nurse," unless she wanted to be a "sexy nurse," or a "cop" without being a "sexy cop."
But, sure enough, the idea has reached all the way to the most innocuous food-related costumes: Ergo the slutty version of a Chinese takeout box, complete with cute little pillbox-esque fortune cookie cap.
This costume has it all: the universal short skirt (late October in Minnesota is waaaay too cold for all slutty costumes, btw, so plan on wearing this one with a pair of white tights or long johns) and the peekaboo cutout in front and back.
The words "enjoy" are printed on the tatas, "thank you" is marked on the crotch, and, the phrase "take me out" runs across the shoulder blades.
Could the message be any more clear?
Pea in the Pod Infant Costume What could be more presh and spesh than this baby pea in the pod? Turn your wee one into a Gerber poster child before he's even eating solids.
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