The 25 Best Forgotten 1990s Food Commercials
In honor of the Totally Sweet '90s Book Launch Party at Magers & Quinn, we compiled a whole slew of our favorite (and sadly, discontinued) foods available during the 1990s... and their respective commercial gems.25. Orbitz
This space-like drink had jelly suspended in the liquid. Too bad it didn't have a future. (And as the video above shows, it definitely doesn't age like fine wine.)
24. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pies
Turtle pies... they're fresh from the sewer to you. (Wonder why these aren't around anymore.)
23. Lifesaver Holes
"The Lifesavers family just got a little smaller..." after these went off the market.
22. Butterfinger BBs
We're shocked that these aren't still a thing, too.
21. Squeez Its
Ah, the joys of mixed animation and live-action commercials.20. Lays WOW Chips
These fat-free chips contained Olestra... which caused stomach cramps and loose stool. Not exactly the kind of food you want to be eating in an inner tube. (Fun fact: These Olestra chips have been rebranded as Lays Light, so beware.)
19. Keebler's Magic Middles
We have a feeling this excuse won't get you off the hook with cops in real life.
18. Shark Bites
If only this actually happened during snack time at school...
17. Crispy M&Ms
Remember him? (Hint: Think theDrew Carey Show
16. Pop Tarts Crunch
Because Pop Tarts weren't breakfast-like enough already...?15. Taco Bell's Chicken Caesar Grilled Stufft Burrito
Maybe it's the grammar fiends in us, but we don't trust anything that used "t" as a substitute for "ed."
The original wannabe energy drink.
13. Nestle's Magic Ball
America's answer to the Kinder Egg, this later became the Wonder Ball... before it got discontinued.
12. Cheetos Paws
"Paws bring big fun to young tongues." No comment.
11. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal
Maybe Shredder just rode off into the sunset with the rest of these TMNT breakfast bites...10. Soda Licious
Get it? Soda... licious! So delicious! Or not.
9. Pepsi Crystal
Doesn't seem like anyone back then knew what it tasted like either...
8. French Toast Crunch
Can anyone explain to us what the difference between this and Cinnamon Toast Crunch is?
7. Dannon Sprinklins
These kids just grew up to eat stir-the-honey-in Greek yogurt.
6. Gator Gum
Okay, so this got discontinued in 1989, but that's pretty much 1990, right? And with today'smint chocolate chip ice cream flavors
, we think Gator Gum might actually be a popular product today...5. Heinz EZ Squirt
Three words: Purple ketchup... why?
4. Doritos 3D
Who could forget the crunch-laden acrobatics Ali Landry showed off in this commercial? (Though we certainly forgot thatWill and Grace
's Sean Hayes made an appearance in this.)
3. Hi-C Ecto Cooler
touched/touches/will touch (Ghostbusters III
, anyone?) is gold.
2. McDonald's Super Size Option
It's hard to remember a time when you could walk out of McDonald's with a 7 oz. box of fries and a drink that tipped the scales at 42 oz. with your meal. Whether it was Morgan Spurlock's fault for basicallypuking in his lap
during the filming ofSuper Size Me
, or it was a growing awareness of the sharp spike in American obesity, the Super Size option is super gone.
1. Bill and Ted's Excellent Cereal
After Bill and Ted taught us to be excellent to each other, they took things one step further. It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a long-gone cereal worthy of Bill and Ted's excellent adventures. Party on, dudes!
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