Super Hobos find love at Galactic Pizza

Galactic Pizza Super Heroes where have you gone? Where are the days when you chased down bad guys, purse robbers, and hoodlums? You all rocked spandex with bravado not seen since Sweating to the Oldies. It made the week of every Minneapolis resident to have you run up to the door on Friday night, little sugar lump and all, greeting us with a piping hot pizza. But Galactic, again, where did all the heroes go?

Last week, a man in nappy tights and hiking boots with the tongue undone ran my doorbell. The dude was wearing a five-o-clock shadow from last week. He smelled like cabbage.

Galactic. We know the economy is jacked but why must you hire super bums? 
Seriously, Galactic... if I wanted to get creeped out by a super hero in tights I'd talk to the hairy dude at Comic-Con holding an armful of lollipops.

Get your superheroes in line, Galactic. Buy them some new spandex, a cape. Hell, it doesn't have to be a sonic lasso or force shield bracelets. Just clean clothes, boots that have laces intact, and maybe provide your heroes some dental coverage.

Just saying. If your heroes can't protect themselves, how will they protect your delicious cargo?