Newsflash: Prince isn’t coming back—but Dunkaroos are!
(Look, we can’t have it all, so just be happy about the Dunkaroos, okay?)
These little packages of cookies with dippable, er, dunkable, frosting cups to match were perfectly portioned by General Mills to spread joy throughout the mid-1990s. Then in 2012, our corporate overlords yanked Dunkaroos from U.S. markets, spawning an international cookie smuggling movement known as "Smugglaroos"…
Still, that summation doesn’t adequately do justice to Dunkaroos' fandom, or why we care about this junk food's just announced, impending return to America's grocery aisles: Dunkaroos truly came alive at lunchroom cafeteria tables (as did scrunchies and Zubaz, both v1.0), where so many of us tried to sucker schoolmates into swapping these coveted treats for healthy garbage like ziplock bags of grapes, bruised Granny Smith apples, and Chewy bars. As impressionable youth, we cut our hustlers’ teeth with the likes of Dunkaroos.
It's a taste—nay, feeling—we'll never get enough of. (General Mills knows this.)
Adding a whole ‘nother dimension to the fabled snack’s aura is this piece of art published by the Heavy Table in 2011. The article took on a life of its own, and Dunkaroos felt almost blessed after that. (City Pages reached out to Manny for comment but he didn’t respond before press time.)
While picking a favorite flavor combo has always been nearly impossible, when Dunkaroos once again hit shelves this summer, you’ll find General Mills has unburdened us of all choice in the matter. Per the Star Tribune, only the “most requested” vanilla cookies and vanilla frosting with rainbow sprinkles option will make a comeback.
Note that flavor was definitely not “in Prince’s fridge,” but whatever—we’re still here for it.
All this is to say: Demand for Dunkaroos has rarely been higher than right now, in middle America, in 2020. And finally, against all odds, the people are being heard!
In preparation for Dunkaroos’ return, please study this “vintage” commercial for proper dunking technique. While you're at it, wave hello-goodbye to Dundee, Dunkaroos’ original spokes-kanga, who’s been ditched this time around, for reasons we can't confirm: