So this is a thing: There are about 20,000 You Tube videos dedicated to the consumption of Samyang brand Fire Noodles, a brick-style ramen noodle imported from South Korea that retails for a couple of bucks. But the that doesn't keep the company from raking in about 7 billion South Korean won (or $6 million US dollars) a month in profit on this product alone.
This leviathan packs over 500 calories, 16 grams of fat, 1280 mg of sodium, and is all parts delicious. It arrives with a packet that spooges out a fire-engine red mucilage of violently spicy liquid, and another packet of dried chile flakes.
The end result is spicy, but not as much as the internets might have you believe. What it is: really, really tasty, and ranks number one in our annals of DIY ramen.
Don't know DIY ramen? You should totally get to know it. You've known instant ramen all your life, of course. Now it's time to make it submit, and make it your own. While the target market for instant ramen seems to be for the broke and apathetic, to that we say: feh.
Brick ramen, while admittedly horrible for your body thanks to its highly processed nature, is nonetheless potentially the most delicious thing you can eat when you're feeling, well, broke and apathetic but also just the teeniest bit innovative.
Got peanut butter, scallions, leftover meats, eggs, vegetables of any sort, hot sauce, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, fresh herbs, limes? Add any or all of these to a pack of brick ramen and a finer meal you will not have for under a couple of dollars.
But here's the thing about the Samyang brand — you needn't add a single ingredient and it's still totally proper. We tossed in a bunch of cooked greens because greens are in season and we had them, but that's it. Otherwise, Samyung is already the straight dope, no Sriracha or other fussing around of any kind required.
Here's a sample of the (weird, and kind of wonderful) Fire Noodles challenge, if you're so inclined to participate. Our challenge was over before we could fumble for our cameras (or mics, or fisheye lenses, or stopwatches). Apparently these days you need more apparatus for your DIY ramen than fresh scallions: