No, Twitter, there's no MAGA craft brewery clubhouse in the Cities (probably)

None of your friends are here. Because it doesn't exist.

None of your friends are here. Because it doesn't exist. @flatearthbrew

Twitter let out a collective groan over the past few days when the account belonging to St. Paul’s Flat Earth Brewing (@flatearthbrew) grabbed attention for retweeting the following:

Let’s just get this out of the way quickly, shall we? Lest you think there’s a secret MAGA clubhouse in the local craft beer scene, we’re here to remind you: There’s no such thing as Flat Earth Brewing in the Twin Cities anymore

Back in March, Flat Earth underwent a rebrand and changed its name to St. Paul Brewing, seeking to distance itself from the notion of flat beer—though some of us (*cough* me) still prefer the (unfounded, admittedly dumb but still funny to me) notion they’d been mistaken one too many times for science-rejecting folk who believe we live on a pancake floating in space. 

Going to the website linked from the disappointing tweet above even reminds people that Flat Earth is dunzo, without leaving a trail to its current incarnation:


So City Pages called up St. Paul Brewing to find out what was going on with the unusually political retweet from “their” defunct-ish account.

Per St. Paul Brewing’s director of operations, Jaclyn Semlak, in their (much more rational than anything I’d been parenthetically purporting) rebrand, St. Paul Brewing chose to abandon Jack Dorsey’s platform of dubious enjoyment, focusing their attention on other social media with better ROI. All was fine and dandy… until it wasn’t.

Semlak sounded more tired by the hubub than surprised: “The postings are not made by the brewery, and we forwarded it all on to our council, and we’ve escalated the matter all the way to Twitter and we’re waiting for a response," said Semlak.

"We did this actually before the [Trump] postings were ever made,” she said, before recounting a lengthy waiting game with Twitter’s bureaucracy.

When pressed about the last time the brewery had control of the Flat Earth account, Semlak couldn’t say for sure. "Oh that’s a good question. I don’t even know… It’s probably even before I came on board [in late March.]”

She went on to stress, “We don’t affiliate with any political [party]… We’re a business. We’d hoped most of our customers would recognize that. The account hadn’t been used, and all our other platforms are changed over to St. Paul Brewing.”

Now that the IRL neutrality of St. Paul Brewing has been reinforced, perhaps this isn’t the worst time to double back and suggest that, Yeah, MAGA Nation, do go in search of this mythical “Flat Earth” and its beer…. That's just the sort of wild goose chase that could keep ’em busy for a while, as the rest of us accomplish something?

Either way: St. Paul Brewing is likely not the drone you're looking for. And Twitter, ever awful, seems to remain exactly what we expect it to be.