What is it about Minnesotans that they just cannot bring themselves to finish off a plate of shared food?
Some ingrained sense of modesty, a feeling of undeserving, takes root in the Upper Midwest mind, and dictates that somebody else should get the last bite. Not you.
Inevitably, Minnesotans will find themselves casting nervous glances at three lonely french fries in a basket for what feels like hours, but is actually just long enough for Matt, from Chicago, to come back from the bathroom, mindlessly grabbing the fries and shoving them in his mouth. What an asshole.
This cultural phenomenon was recently captured in a photo uploaded to imgur by user iland99. The picture displays the very last of a pan of "bars," which, like passive-aggressive behavior, are another distinct product perfected by the residents of this great state.
The photographer has labeled this upload "the most Minnesotan pan of bars" ever. We're inclined to agree.
The quantity of bars here is minute. Negligible. If you tried offering this amount of food to an adult human who was not 1) starving or 2) Minnesotan, she'd frown for a little while, and then start slapping you.
But not here. In a Minnesota workplace or social gathering, this sliver of snack is just too much for anyone to finish off. Everyone's stuffed. Couldn't imagine taking one more bite.
You finish that last bit. Please. Please take it. Make it go away.
Oh God where's Matt from Chicago? "Matt, hey, Matt, get in here! Judy made bars and they are just out of this world! You've got to try them! MATT! PLEASE MATT COME IN HERE!"
As iland99 explains:
"I think this poor bar was cut in half about 3 times before some jerk took the last chunk!"
Other reddit commenters observed that this piece could easily be cut into two or three more pieces itself. One suggests the bars will be sliced in half, and in half again, until there's only "one atom" of matter remaining.
But who would eat it?
- Dear God, Minneapolis. Which one of you sent this text?
- Dear God, Minneapolis. Which one of you made this Craigslist 'missed connections' ad?
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