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Minnesotans hate 'drinking alone', probably the best answer in America

Look how good Minnesota is at not drinking alone!

Look how good Minnesota is at not drinking alone!

The dating app Hater has published a map featuring what people in each state "hate the most," per a survey the service conducted itself.

There aren't five sensible responses on this whole damn list. Fortunately, one of them comes from Minnesota.

For example, people from North Dakota hate "tapas," the small plate food items ubiquitous in Spanish cusine. Anyway, they would hate tapas, if anyone from Spain ever made some, boarded a plane, smuggled them through customs, waited out a layover, and flew them into Fargo. As it stands, the North Dakotan is presently free from his fear of olives with little pieces of meat.

Illinois tells Hater it hates "biting into string cheese." Evidently they swallow it whole.

North Carolina hates "DUI checkpoints." They could probably use a lot more.

Mississippi hates "anal sex." Ditto.

People from Oklahoma detest "hearing the latest gossip," which only makes us think there is some serious dirt on these people to be found, if anyone's willing to travel to Oklahoma City. 

Nevada hates "feminism," and in a related story has not gotten laid for several consecutive months.

Residents of Utah hate "porn." Uh huh. Sure they do.

Among the few states with a halfway reasonable answer to what we "hate the most" is Minnesota, which said "drinking alone" is our least favorite thing in the world. Unlike some of these answers above—with the clear exception of "no-butt-stuff" Mississippi—this is actually useful information to a potential dating partner.

Hell, Minnesota's pet peeve sounds like an invitation. Don't like drinking alone? Try doing it with someone else!

We should probably avoid dating Louisiana (which hates "being the designated driver") or Kentucky, (hates "Lyft"). How are we going to get home? We're sure as hell not asking North Carolina for a ride.

Maybe we can call up Utah, which says it's staying in tonight. Man, Utah says that a lot. Wonder what Utah's up to?

See the full map below. 

P.S. Go to hell, Indiana.