Men's Health names worst foods of 2009


When I first saw the headline "Worst Foods in America," I thought, alright, this is going to be good -- funny descriptions of grotesque creations involving, say, okra (snotty snotty okra) and candid commentary about revolting regional delicacies. But no.

The article would be more aptly titled "Most Unhealthy Foods in America," because it's all about the calories. Calories and fat. What is this, Marie Claire? This list just makes me hungry. I saw the #1 Worst Food in America, the Baskin Robbins oreo shake, and actually kind of started to want one.

And well, whaddya know, there aren't any effing Baskin Robbins in Minnesota anyway. As it turns out, not only can I not acquire 2009's Worst Food in America, but I also can't get myself the Worst Pizza (classic deep dish from Uno Chicago Grill), the Worst Starter (Uno's pizza skins) OR the Worst Breakfast (Bob Evans' stuffed caramel banana pecan pancakes) without crossing state lines.

Minnesota does put itself on the map though. Hometown soft serve champion Dairy Queen rings in at #16 with its chicken strip basket. Now, would someone please pass me back my 2,090-calorie tuna melt?