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Let Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store be your new fall tradition

Forget the orchard. Your new autumn tradition is sweeter.

Forget the orchard. Your new autumn tradition is sweeter. Mecca Bos

Because candy > pumpkins by any standard, breeze by the pumpkin patches this season and make your way instead to our local citadel of sugar, Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store.

One part orchard, one part quaint pie shop, and part candy store gone wild, the Jordan, Minnesota destination is your new fall family tradition. 

Jordan is about 45 minutes from the cities and a just-long-enough drive to make it feel like an outing, but not so long that you’ll have to start threatening the children (though once they’re hopped up on sugar, all bets are off).

A year removed from a caramel apple controversy, the store also known as the Big Yellow Barn is open seasonally from May to November. But autumn feels like the best time to visit, for the cornucopia (fall also gives us excuse to use the word “cornucopia”) of gourds, decorative corn, and pumpkins. They've got them before anyone else seems to have them. It's like instant autumn, before a single maple leaf has gone crimson.

Operating as Jim’s Apple Farm until 2005, the family-owned orchard came to an important realization: Apples are dandy but candy is quicker.

Sensory overload is a succinct way to describe what you’ll find within: all the colors of the rainbow and lots of others; perambulating families to rival those at the State Fair; meticulously categorized candy.

Is ranch dressing soda advisable? Only you can be the judge.

Is ranch dressing soda advisable? Only you can be the judge. Mecca Bos

Filed under Theater Box Candy are all your favorites from the glass case at the cinema (your days of paying $16 for a box of Raisinetes at the movies are over). Root beer comes in 151 (to be exact-- the number grows each year) varieties. Salt water taffy is available in every possible flavor, including buttered popcorn and eggnog. There's stuff from the Netherlands (stroopenwaffels for days), stuff from all over Asia (Hello Kitties with candy mustaches), and all the candy cigarettes you can smoke.

Going on like this would be tempting, almost as tempting as getting all the things. We narrowly escaped under the $25 dollar mark after spending an hour there. The damage could have been much worse, considering that they also have a pie shop, where the owner’s elderly father presides over handmade apple pies, and a comprehensive soda selection, potentially the largest in the state, which includes the likes of buffalo chicken and sweet corn flavors. Is this necessary? Is this wise? Only you can know, and there is only one way to find out.

Candy shaped like poop? Ketchup-flavored potato chips? Sriracha gumballs? Countless unidentifiable items in countless languages? A yard of gumballs? What are your limits? Test them at the Big Yellow Barn.

Don’t forget to grab a butternut squash on your way out. The veggies are on the honor system, so say what you plan to grab (because really, who is going to steal a gourd while hefting five pounds of candy?) then settle up. 

It's cash only. There's no website or phone number, and you’ll carry your stuff away in a plain paper bag. 

All the glory awaits as you drive away, autumn air shooting through the car windows, cherry gumdrops sticking to your molars. 

Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store/ Big Yellow Barn
20430 Johnson Memorial Dr.
Jordan, Minnesota