Did you grow up on Samoas? Me too.
But now, your cute little neighborhood Girl Scout and her ma insist on calling them "Caramel DeLites." Whatever, kid! Just give me the good stuff! Now!
Hey, wait, Tagalongs are now Peanut Butter Patties? And Trefoils are now the uninspired "Shortbread"? Well, at least they haven't bastardized the ever-important Thin Mint. Or have they?
According to the Los Angeles Times, the Girl Scouts use two different bakeries, ABC Bakers and Little Brownie Bakers, and depending on which city you live in, you're going to get slightly (or if you're a Girl Scout Cookie obsessive, drastically) different cookie variations.
According to their map, Minneapolis receives cookies from ABC Bakers, which puts out Caramel DeLites instead of Samoas, and Lemonades instead of Savannah Smiles (but nobody cares about lemon cookies anyway). But evidently, it isn't just the names that differ.
While Thin Mints are still Thin Mints regardless of where in the country you procure them, according to the article, ABC's are "crunchier, with more mint than chocolate in each bite," and Little Brownie Bakers' are "richer, [with a] smoother chocolate coating and distinct peppermint taste."
And yes, the sacred Samoa is also different from the Carmel DeLite, so it isn't just semantics that the Girl Scouts are messing with, it's your emotions, too.
Depending on how deep your Girl Scout Cookie nostalgia runs, you might consider doing a cookie swap with our neighbors over in North Dakota, who get the slightly more supple product from Little Brownie Bakers.
Or, just eat what you've got. Even the calorie counts are different, and since we get a slightly inferior cookie from ABC, we come out ahead by about 15 fewer calories per cookie. So, take that, North Dakota.
Girl Scout Cookies are currently on sale literally everywhere you look. Every. Where.