Heggies Pizza isn't going down without a fight -- even if there's literally no fight to be had.
Last month, you may recall that Papa John's -- they of the recently out CEO who doesn't even get his likeness on boxes anymore -- tried to start some shit with frozen pizza brands via Twitter like they think they're the president of the United States or something.
Heggies, looking to defend its name and get a li'l good PR in the process -- who can blame them? -- called Papa John's out at a "press conference" inviting them to partake in a Great Pizza Snowdown. PJ's is the official pizza sponsor of the NFL after all, and what better way to settle the score than with a frozen vs. delivery duel that coincides with the Super Bowl?
It would have been, as CP in no way hyperbolized back in December, a David and Goliath-type battle -- one for the ages, really -- and we all waited with bated breath to see how the multinational chain would respond. (At the very least, we thought about it once or twice in passing over the holidays!)
But no reply came.
Now, Milaca-based Heggies is reigniting the beef. In another sprawling, four-part press release issued Wednesday, the beloved frozen 'za company is doubling down on its commitment to brawl with the big boys. They addressed the snub straight away: "Heggies acknowledges and appreciates that Papa John’s has plenty going on these days, especially with Papa John’s founder John Schnatter stepping down the day after the Snowdown challenge call-out (curious). But still."
The Heggies camp says they've heard rumblings that PJ's has "major market takeover plans" that correspond with the Big Game, which is, of course, "fueling Heggies’ plan to defend its home turf."
The release goes on:
"While Heggies is the everyman’s pizza, the company thought it was smart to stretch itself by landing a celebrity endorser coming to town for the Big Game. It has offered national media personality (annnnnnd other stuff) Cooper Manning a one-day endorsement contract paid in delicious Heggies frozen pizzas, lunch at Manning’s Café and $18 in pull tabs (Editor’s Note for readers outside Minnesota: they’re lottery tickets typically bought in bars)."
Well dang, I'd take that deal. And yet? Shockingly? Still no word from the Mannings.
(Also, if we're being honest: I had to Google Coop to make sure he is in fact related to his Papa John's-shilling, Super Bowl-winning brother and also the other Super Bowl-winning brother. Man, it must suck to be that Manning.)
Anyway! They probably won't get an answer, but in the meantime, the Heggies folks are doing what they do best -- making frozen pizza and thinking up (pretty successful!) ways to get "journalists" like us to write about them before the Super Bowl rolls through town in all of its corporate-backed glory.