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Happy April Fool's: Chefs and cooks share their best kitchen hazing stories

Behold the glory of the bacon stretcher.

Behold the glory of the bacon stretcher.

In the great tradition of kitchen hazing, we offer some delicious April Fool's Day ideas for you to trick your co-workers, your dad, your sweetie, or your new prep cook. We can't promise they'll still love you after the fact, but we can promise you'll be laughing maniacally for years to come. 

Oldies but Goodies

It's a time-honored practice to haze newbs in a professional kitchen, particularly when they are too green to know any better.

The gold standard:

"Go to restaurant B (usually a place in the neighborhood, but far enough away to warrant a tiring walk) and fetch the bacon stretcher." It's the oldest one in the book, it's beautiful, and it never gets old.

So well worn is this trick, that chef A usually needn't even alert chef B that the newb is en route. Chef B will give the kid something unwieldy (see above) to haul back to the restaurant. Or perhaps even send him to restaurant C, because you know, they loaned the bacon stretcher out. Like you do.

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They totally deserved that

Sometimes, the only way to prevent someone from being a slob — or worse, dangerous — in the kitchen is to teach a long-lasting lesson.

Also, keep an eye on your equipment, or you never know where it might wind up.

Kitchens have spicy stuff in them

Not surprisingly, pepper and hot sauces appear frequently in the hijinx.

Gluttons get punishment

Servers, please stop eating everything. Thank you.

That's just mean

We all know that certain chefs can take things just a little too far. 

Low blow

Because kitchens are hot, and sweaty, cooks tend to sweat, everywhere. A common fix is to dust cornstarch "down there."