Friendly's 1,200-calorie BurgerMelt? Burger Jones has it beat by a mile
You're getting fat just looking at it
You may have heard that the Friendly's restaurant chain recently joined the outrageous-food bandwagon (popularized by KFC's Double Downs and one-upped by Krispy Kreme's Donut Burger) by creating the new BurgerMelt, a burger wedged between two grilled cheese sandwiches. That obvious cry for publicity made national news because of its suicidally unhealthy stats: It weighs in at 1,160 calories, 79 grams of fat, and a thunderous 2,090 milligrams of sodium.
The only drawback? The nearest Friendly's is in Ohio. What's a gluttonous Minnesotan to do?
Have no fear! Lest we forget, Twin Citians have a sandwich that makes the BurgerMelt look like health food. Burger Jones, the Parasole restaurant that made "chicken-fried bacon" a regular part of everyone's vocabulary, has the ultimate burger showdown that doesn't require a road trip: the Meat Your Maker burger, a 10,000-calorie tower of meat, bacon, curds and trans-fats that would make even Jared the Subway guy sweat lard.
Buckle up, because here's what you're in for:
Level One: A bun, grilled with cheese and bacon, which supports a 7-ounce cheeseburger, chicken-fried bacon, a chili cheese dog-burger, a 7-ounce cheeseburger, and chicken-fried bacon. Level Two: A grilled cheese with bacon, a 7-ounce cheeseburger, more chicken-fried bacon, a chili cheese dog-burger, a 7-ounce cheeseburger, and, naturally, chicken-fried bacon. Level Three: Yet another grilled cheese with bacon, a fried egg cooked to order, topped with onion rings, and garnished with Faribault Creamery cheese curds.
As if downing something that inhuman isn't glory enough, Burger Jones offers the "Meat Your Maker" challenge, where "If any beer-gutted biker, college stoner, female softball player or Japanese speed eater can finish a Meat Your Maker burger within an hour, they'll get an exclusive, open-casket-quality T-shirt and/or $20 gift card."
So has anyone tangled with the $25 Meat Your Maker and won? According to Christian Labissoniere of Burger Jones, only three people can claim such an honor--and one was a competitive eater who demolished the meat tower in six minutes and 47 seconds. "That was disgusting...but awesome to watch," says Labissoniere, who has sampled the "burger" himself. "We made one for a photo shoot and didn't want to throw it away, so the entire staff split it. That's how big it is."
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