Easter candy: Top 5
After laying into the featured foods of various holidays (Halloween and Thanksgiving among them) we thought we'd go easy on Easter. That's not to say there's not gross Easter stuff out there (including, most notably, Brach's jelly beans), but this time around, instead of naming the grossest or weirdest, we're just keeping it simple and going with straight-up best--a decision made easier by not having to contend with, say, candy corn or canned cranberries. Our Top 5 fave Easter candies are as follows:
1. Reese's peanut butter eggs. In substance, these are just like regular Reese's peanut butter cups, but as far as style goes, this novelty take meets and exceeds the classic. The eggs are thicker around the middle, providing a heftier dose of precious peanut butter. The smooth exterior, lacking the cups' trademark wrinkled edges and equally wrinkled paper wrappers, is more aesthetic. Plus there's the simplicity of getting just one per package. Doubling up is so Little Caesar's, and even they stopped doing it years ago.
1. Chocolate bunnies. There's one caveat to this: They must be hollow chocolate bunnies. Solid chocolate bunnies are a menace. Case in point: Who here can recall weird, almost graphic-seeming images of abandoned, ear-less bunnies on piano tops and inside otherwise empty Easter baskets with gnarly incisor marks and other clear signs of struggle? A hundred percent of them were solid bunnies, guaranteed. There's nothing like the satisfying snap when you bite into a hollow bunny, not to mention the gluttonous glee of polishing one off with ease.
3. Peeps!There are many reasons to love Peeps. Here are some of them: They're stretchy. They're neon colored. They're frequently wall-eyed. They do weird stuff when you put them in the microwave. You can make them look like Al Franken. You can make macabre s'mores with them. They come covered in dark chocolate now. They've inspired at least two papers, including the Pioneer Press, to launch contests involving them. They inspire previously unknown violent tendencies (kind of like piñatas). You gotta love 'em.
4. Non-Brach's jelly beans. We got a little guff over our recent post about jelly beans for not including Jelly Bellys. But you know what? While superior beans in general, for purposes of evaluating Easter candy, Jelly Bellys don't count. Not to sound all fundamentalist, but they're just not ... Easter-y. They're too complicated, too gourmet. Plus they're smaller than most beans, and who wants to untangle all that Easter basket grass when the reward might be a cinnamon, a mocha, or perhaps worst of all, a popcorn-flavored. Now then. As for the more Easter-y beans, there's quite a bit of competition out there, even once you eliminate the main contender, Brach's. Definitely give them a shot. For starters, how about Nerds jelly beans.
5. Cadbury Eggs could just as easily go on a "Worst Easter Candy" list, but that's kind of why they're also one of the best. They're so strange, yet at the same time so fascinating. They're kind of like Shamrock Shakes in the way they inspire a devotion that seems to be in defiance of all reason or intellect. It's like some type of holiday hypnosis that suspends all disbelief and leads more human beings than is statistically reasonable to reach for them given the fact that it's just mediocre chocolate housing a sugary ooze that includes an attempt to mimic egg yolk. The wrapper is pretty though.
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