Has social media turned your brain into pudding and made you feel more isolated than ever?
Yes? OK, two important things to know: 1) DO NOT, under any circumstances, unfollow City Pages social media accounts; 2) Miller Lite just launched a marketing stunt that might help.
The process of obtaining a free Miller Lite Offline Can is sorta tricky, but can one put a price on mental health? (Sorta, the badass goth can is also available via purchase for price of a regular Miller Lite).
If you'd prefer one gratis, jump through the following hoops: Head to a participating bar, scan the QR code on the "branded table tent," and ignore your phone for 30 minutes as a countdown ticks. Once the timer bleeps and/or bloops at you, that's when your dead eyes become restored, your friendships re-invigorated, and your Miller Lite Offline Can achieved.
We asked a Miller Lite spokesperson to explain this anti-internet agenda... that hinges on scanning a code that activates tech created by Facebook.
"Miller Lite knows that the beginning of a new year brings in a flood of resolutions shared on social media, but our one resolution is simple: getting back to spending time with friends in person, over a beer. The Miller Lite Offline Can helps you do just that."
We then asked which Twin Cities bars are participating and were told... that information could not legally be revealed.
"Your readers best bet for getting one is to head to their local bar this week to see if it is participating in the promotion," the spokesperson offered.
Alright, good luck out there. The Miller Lite Offline Can campaign runs this month for "a limited time."
In other macro beer news, read our chief suds correspondent's love letter to Miller High Life.
Take us into the weekend, rival Spuds MacKenzie!