Defeating "The Monstrosity" at Jimmy's Pizza


Quote of the night: "There is no "i" in team, but there are three in indigestion."

Think you could finish this? Jenny from Uptown shares her experience defeating the 28-inch Monstrosity at Jimmy's Pizza in Albertville (with help, of course).

How did you find yourself at Jimmy's Pizza taking on "The Monstrosity?" My friend Steve heard about the giant pizza at Jimmy's, and a group of 6 of us mutual friends decided to take it on. We went to Albertville with the express purpose of taking on The Monstrosity, and although one of the cars in our caravan was significantly delayed (by about 1.5 hrs, heading northeast instead of northwest), it only benefitted us, in that we were ravenous when we finally arrived. Did your group have any special qualifications? No competitive eaters among us, just healthy appetites, strong wills and an overriding sense of purpose.

At what point did you think you were going to have to give up? I can't speak for the whole party, but about 2/3rds of the way through, I remember thinking we had done a fantastic job... and that there was no way we'd realistically finish the giant pizza project. We were all slowing down at this point, each of us having consumed several platefuls already. I remember looking at what remained of the giant pizza baking sheet, thinking I canNOT believe we just consumed that much food.

What helped you round the corner? Again, during this pause at about the 2/3rds mark, a few of us (myself included) had kind of pushed away our plates all self-satisfied and smug, thinking we were going to be off the hook for the rest... until one of the guys (the most soft-spoken among us) took the floor and said, very definitively: "Guys, this is a one-shot deal, see?!? Now keep eating." ... and we did. We divided the rest of the pieces up equally among all six of us, and started in on them. We'd had it made with 4 different toppings quadrants, and to our bad luck, most of the remaining pieces were sausage, yuck.

What happened when you finished? When we finished, the staff at Jimmy's Pizza stood on the chairs and gave us a standing ovation with much woo-hooing and clapping. They proclaimed us the SMALLEST group (in number) that had ever finished The Monstrosity, took a Polaroid of all of us, and tacked it on the Wall of Fame. It felt great to have accomplished something so unlikely somewhere so unlikely. I was half-expecting the Chariots of Fire theme to start playing.

How much pizza did each person consume? I have to say I think the guys really took on the lion's share -- two of them were going full-bore right out of the gates, and the third finished incredibly strong, but let me state for the record that no one got off easy, even the 10yr old gal who was with us. We all finished several platefuls, with each of us comfortably into the double-digits as far as number of slices.

What did your stomach feel like afterwards? Really disgusting, like I'd just swallowed one of those expanding sponge toys. And it wasn't just confined to my stomach, I felt like I was probably getting shiny all over from the sausage grease coming out of my pores. To Jimmy's credit, the pizza was mighty tasty at the start, there was just... so... much... OF it. I had really strange dreams that night. Would you ever do it again? I wouldn't want to do it with pizza, although the folks at Jimmy's were nice enough to send us off with a gift certificate to encourage another attempt. I feel I've conquered that goal and don't need to repeat it again, but I'd definitely consider some other kind of food. I could probably get pretty enthusiastic if we'd tackle something sweet next time, like an insane sundae or huge cookie challenge. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for our next endeavor and gladly take suggestions.