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Ciao Bella, Ti Amo

Ciao Bella
3501 Minnesota Dr. (France Avenue and I-494), Bloomington; 841-1000

Ciao Bella has exquisite lighting. Swirly-glass tubes over the bar are held up by sculpted iron hands that silhouette against the light in a striking, nearly surreal way. Lamps like big, goopy meringue drops hang over the pizza station. Recessed, ceiling-aimed bulbs are tucked into every nook and cranny. In the bathrooms the two pink art-glass lights that flank the mirror look like big aroused nipples, and seem to symbolize the undulating, sexy nature of the space. Every table boasts a little golden beaded lamp which casts a rosy, flattering glow on diners. Sitting in the midst of all this diffuse, elegant light you simply look marvelous.

Which is important, because you won't be able to hear a thing. The basketball-court-sized central room is separated from the open kitchen by a wood-burning oven and a couple of gigantic open doorways that funnel kitchen noise right to the dining room. Meanwhile there's always a hubbub in the front bar, and shouts and whoops ricochet off the marble floors and metal room dividers in such a way that when Ciao Bella is packed--as it is every single night from 7 to 10 and Fridays and Saturdays from 5 to 11--you can only be heard by either shouting or placing your mouth directly in the ear of your dining companion.

But this acoustical horror is actually a big part of Ciao Bella's charm. When you're in the thick of it, as I was at 10 one Friday night, you'll see that everyone in the room is either shouting and gesturing enthusiastically, or bowing heads together in intimate discussion. Which reminded me of an interview I saw once with William Shatner. He was talking about the time he met Koko, the sign-language-proficient gorilla.

To get over his fear of the enormous animal, he used an old actor's trick: "I love you, Koko," said Captain Kirk. "I love you, Koko. I love you, Koko." And as he said it his body expressed it and then his mind believed it. And the gorilla responded, lovingly.

Likewise, when you go to Ciao Bella you have to yell enthusiastically or whisper intimately, and your body follows along: You're shouting excitedly, and you feel excited. You whisper intimately, and you feel all snuggly. As an extra bonus the people you're with look really swell because of the lighting, and so you feel more glamorous shouting and whispering to these lookers. At least that's why I think people are packing Ciao Bella, because it certainly isn't for the food.

Not that the food is uniformly bad. About one out of every five dishes turns out to be very good, and the chef's random ability to do things well is baffling. Consider the mussels. The appetizer ($6.95) is a generous pound-plus of the shimmering black beauties, bathed in a subtle saffron tomato sauce and tossed with shreds of fresh basil. Every time I ordered the mussels, both alone and in the linguini with mussels ($11.95), they arrived hot, perfectly tender, meaty, sea-scented, subtly smoky from the wood oven, and generally astonishing--especially considering that mussels are not easy to cook, turning to rubber if you fail to pay attention for an instant.

On the other hand, Minestrone soup is very easy. So why is Ciao Bella's minestra ($3.95) a salty mess so packed with crumbled sausage it has the consistency of pasta sauce? Salt also ruins a grilled filet mignon ($20.95) that comes in a brine-like sauce. A lamb shank braised in chianti ($16.95) has the arid texture of a State Fair turkey drumstick--puzzling, considering that to braise means to cook slowly with liquid, so that tough meat fibers are broken down and made tender. How could anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of cooking let a bronzed, dry piece of lamb get by?

Yet inexplicably at the same meal a mixed-herb marinated salmon filet ($15.95) was another real accomplishment, perfectly grilled and wonderfully flavored. I don't have any idea of how this could be, and I don't have any faith that on another night the salmon will be bad and the filet mignon good. I don't see much rhyme or reason in what comes out of Ciao Bella's kitchen except this: The mussels are always good and the bread basket is always bad. Sweet, cold squares of a Wonder Bread-like ciabatta and an uninspiring French loaf left me perplexed: Why have that big wood-fired oven if not to bake bread?

Then I realized it's there to confuse us with pizzas--another Ciao Bella game of chance. On two visits the pizza crusts I tried were sugary, doughy, gummy and icky, leaving me wondering: "Is it delivery or is it DiGiorno?" On the third visit my crust was scrupulously thin and perfectly crispy; the edges were full of big, handsome bubbles, and the pizza tasted smoky, earthy, fantastic. On my first visit I tried the wild mushroom pizza ($9.95) and was convinced that the gelatinous, salty, tasteless topping came from a can. On my third visit the mushrooms were fresh, had a nice springy texture, were perfectly married to the subtly spicy sauce, and only benefited from quick roasting in the high heat of the wood fire. Go figure.

 

Desserts also upheld the one-in-five ratio (and actually, why complain? By casino standards that's paying off easily, right?). The fallen chocolate soufflé ($4.95) is lush and rich, with a buoyant, spongy texture that only enhances the deep, saturating chocolate. But the bread pudding ($3.95) is an unmitigated disaster, thin slices of virtually unseasoned white bread baked so that little crusts sticking up out of the dish taste like charred sand. This starchy block is served under a blanket of powdered sugar and sits in a pool of caramel sauce so sweet, so thick, and so grainy it left me wondering if the dessert chef had simply melted a bag of Kraft caramels and added extra sugar. The tiramisu ($4.95) and apples al forno ($4.95), a giant version of apple cobbler, are just adequate. The best thing I can say about the desserts is that on the two occasions when I asked my server to take them away, she did so graciously and volunteered to remove the offending items from my bill.

In fact, on each of my visits the staff was outstanding. Servers were prompt, efficient, and knowledgeable about Ciao Bella's food-friendly wine list. Server's assistants were right on top of things, keeping water glasses filled, clearing plates quickly, and boxing leftovers carefully. Even hostesses were friendly and gracious, making an effort to engage in the sort of compliments and chitchat that make you feel like a welcome guest.

When you put together all that Ciao Bella does right--a beautiful space, a good wine list, excellent service, and a crowd-pleasing, nicely priced menu--it's easy to see why it's the hottest ticket on the 494 strip. Ciao Bella may not be playing in the big leagues with Italian heavy hitters like Pronto Ristorante, Maggiore, Campiello, D'Amico Cucina, either of the Lucis, or any of the Giorgios, but out in the minors of the first-ring suburbs it is kicking major keester. If I worked at a comparatively priced, comparatively located restaurant such as Ciatti's or the Outback Steakhouse, I'd start making like Captain Kirk: I love you, Ciao Bella. I love you...

TABLEHOPPING

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL CHEAT IF I WANT TO: Where do you stand on dinner parties? (Out on the deck, dishing on the other guests, she quipped...) Martha Stewart notwithstanding, there simply isn't time to do it all like a pro--not the candles encircled with cinnamon sticks carved in the likenesses of the first 20 presidents, the flower arrangements calibrated to the height and allergies of guests, napkins folded into the Battleship Iowa, etc.

Which is why I've become pretty fond of Malcolm Hillier's newish book Entertaining (DK Publishing, $29.95). Hillier seems well aware that, as much as you'd like to fuss and futz your way to craft-queen heights, you don't have the actual time to do it what with cooking and eating and all. So he provides a few dozen meal-party premises--barbecues, teas, brunches, seasonal dinners (with plenty of vegetarian options)--all of which can be put together in record time. Of course, Mr. Hillier's reasoning is that this will leave you time to hot-glue some rose/moss topiaries or craft your own ice-cream bowls out of nasturtiums, ice, and seasonal berries. As far as I'm concerned, these well-thought-through menus actually leave you good amounts of time to get dressed and mingle with your guests--which is more impressive than any number of handwoven napkin rings ever could be.

Entertaining's New Potato Salad

* 3 pounds small new potatoes

* 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

* 2 tablespoons whole-grain mustard

* 1 tablespoon fresh dill, finely chopped

* salt and pepper to taste

* 7 tablespoons olive oil

* 1 garlic clove

Cook the potatoes in a large saucepan of boiling salted water until just cooked, but not soft. The cooking time will depend on the variety of potato you use. Drain immediately, and as soon as you can handle the potatoes cut them into medium-thick (1/4 inch or so) slices. In a small bowl, mix the vinegar, mustard, dill, and seasoning very well, then drizzle in the oil, beating until you have an emulsion. Rub a serving dish with the cut edges of the garlic, add the warm potatoes, and gently toss them in the dressing.

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Ciao Bella

3501 Minnesota Drive
Edina, MN 55435

952-841-1000

www.ciaobellamn.com


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