10 Food-Porniest Dishes in the Twin Cities Right Now

Bacon and Bourbon from 6 Smith

Bacon and Bourbon from 6 Smith

Mecca Bos
Bacon and Bourbon from 6 Smith

When does food have sex appeal? Like porn, it's difficult to describe, but you know it when you see it.

Here are the most unctuous, baconiest, sauciest, naughtiest, spiciest, sexiest dishes in the Twin Cities, right now. NSFW, obviously.

See also: Doug Anderson's New Place Is Open and It's Not Called Al's Super Assss Friday

10. Beef Bacon BLT from Libertine

Beef Bacon BLT from Libertine

Beef Bacon BLT from Libertine

Though it's a classic sandwich for all times, we're approaching good tomato season when the vine fragrance is at its stickiest, the pulp is at its juiciest and their captivation sets the foundation for nothing more than the crispness of a lettuce leaf and smoke cast upon animal flesh. And here, pigs don't have all the fun-- beef becomes equally cardinal with appropriately proportioned heaps of meat on fat white toast pressed with what looks like a branding iron.

9. Mon Petit Cheri Egg Sandwich Nature's perfect food, it takes a loving hand to treat them with the delicacy they deserve. Eggs are mere babes, so save the manhandling for another ingredient. Barely wave a flame over an egg and it will emerge as sheer transcendence, as they have done here, at Mon Petit Cheri. Have it on their yeasty, warm and alluring as the crook of a neck, house-made English muffin for morning time bliss.

8. Plate o' Beets from Ward 6

The vegetable world of course holds all the botany of desire, nature's most beguiling little tricks for capturing animal attentions everywhere. Scrape away the ruddy flesh of the earthly beet, and behold a color only all the gods of all the universes could have designed -- and, with a flavor that's somehow both a come-on and a rebuff, sweet yet coarse. Ward 6 boldly serves them all alone, gleaming with a simple roast and set upon a rich lake of whipped chèvre and little else. Restraint: the most provocative gesture of all.

7. Revial's Biscuits

Good biscuits get people swooning and coming undone like packs of bachelorettes at a "XXX Revue". Tender layers of careful hand-folded dough with nuggets of butter dropped within like golden raindrops from the heavens will do that to a girl. Revival's are textbook perfect with a little sorghum butter in a pot ready to be ravaged.

6. Tempura Battered Morels from Sushi Fix

Wild mushrooms cannot be possessed -- they belong to no man. Every season we may try to wrangle them, and sometimes succeed and oftentimes fail. If you find a bumper crop, butter them, salt them and fry them, there's nothing much better. Except that is, the ones prepared by Sushi Fix chef/owner Billy Tserenbat. True to his quest to be "the best" (just ask him and he'll tell you), Tserenbat has tempura-battered them for light-as-a-bubble snacking. For a moment, it makes the earthly world so much more intriguing than that of the sea. [page]

5. The Ultimate Combination from Fasika

By the time you were two, your mom was sticking a fork in your hand and insisting you eat like a civilized person. But the primitive sensuality of eating with your hands has made many a convert to Ethiopian food. Soft, sour injera bread is a far superior utensil to cold steel any day of the week. And that's saying nothing of the heady, spice-laden stews and braises cooked in butter and chile, funky and aromatic enough to make a nun run in terror for fear of being driven to ungodly deeds. Too powerful for a first date, this is third date sort of stuff. It promises to get you wherever you're planning to go.

4. Pork and Shrimp Wonton Dumpling Soup from Quang The multiple step enterprise of wonton soup is love incarnate. First the filling, a somewhat arduous task of grinding, seasoning, chopping, measuring. Then you must roll the dough and fill the dumplings, all the while minding the stockpot. This is grandmotherly love kind of stuff, and yours probably doesn't like you that much, so rely on steadfast Lung Truong, the matriarch of Quang to fill that belly (and heart).

3. Kimchee Ramen from Zen Box

Some might think it's all about the noodle. But if you have ramen without luscious bone broth that's been coaxed along like handling a kid learning to walk, you've got nothing at all. Zen Box treats theirs with parental patience, but then is unafraid to add a bit of fiery and fermented kimchee for excellent added interest. Noodles are al dente, eggs are coddled to a creamy consistency, and a roasted pork cutlet could almost be an afterthought to all this allure.

2. Soft Eggs and Sourdough Toast with Chimichurri from Heyday

As mentioned earlier, just barely heat-kissed eggs are a triumph to make anywhere. (There's such an urge to overcook them.) As they turn to curd in a pan we become mesmerized by their molecular protein changes before our very eyes. But in reality it's best to off the heat before they're finished, as residual heat will do the rest. So you'll double or triple the elation when you receive them properly done in a restaurant, where one must factor in chit machines, servers, and 50 other waiting eaters. Toss in a stately sourdough toast and a little peppery-piquant chimichurri for edge, and wow, what a dish. Plus, bacon.

Mon Petit Cherie egg sandwich on housemade English muffin

Mon Petit Cherie egg sandwich on housemade English muffin

1. Bacon and Bourbon from 6 Smith

There are two things that would kill you faster than if you had nothing at all, and we still clamor for them like medicines. But when paired, they cancel each other out, right? So we rationalize when dipping bacon into bourbon for an appetizer at 6 Smith. And this is no ordinary bacon, but an absurdly smoky, house-cured Tellichery Pepper affair that's like setting regular bacon aglow with a thousand low, slow burning embers. And then, dip it in bourbon and eat it, because you give zero fucks.

Send your story tips to Hot Dish.