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Yankees keep finding new ways to absolutely own the Twins

Lance!!!

Lance!!! Twitter: @floyding

Since 2002, the New York Yankees have thoroughly and consistently spanked the Minnesota Twins, including during last October’s one-game playoff disaster.

The cosmic indignity ratcheted up another notch on Tuesday. That’s when pitcher Lance Lynn, who was recently traded from Minnesota to New York following four miserable months with the Twins, appeared in the New York Post under the screaming headline “JUST LYNN BABY!”

Subhead: “New starter all Yanks could have could have hoped for in delivering needed ‘W.’”

On Monday, Lynn helped blank the Chicago White Sox, tossing nine strikeouts through 7⅓ innings during his first start with the 69-42 Yanks. The 52-59 Twins crumbled to a 0-10 defeat against the Cleveland Indians that same night.

While passing through LaGuardia Airport, local Twitter personality Zach Floyd captured the Post’s salty addition to the historical Twins-Yankees wound. “As predictable as the sun coming up,” he said, echoing infinitely burned Twins fans everywhere.

How did Lynn, a free-agent dud with Minnesota, become the goddamn king of New York City?

In March, Lynn was a seemingly attractive addition to the then-promising 2018 Twins, having posted solid numbers (11-8, 3.43 ERA) the previous year in St. Louis. His tenure in Minnesota, however, was a tedious 7-8 slog through 102 innings, amounting to a sky-high 5.10 ERA.

So the Twins unloaded Lynn – as well as Brian Dozier (L.A.), Eduardo Escobar (Arizona), and Ryan Pressly (Houston) – ahead of the trade deadline. Since joining the Yankees on July 30, Lynn has blazed through 11⅔ scoreless innings with 14 (!) strikeouts. Worth noting: His teammate, former Twin Aaron Hicks, is on pace to club 26 dingers. 

Oof.

The Yankees have the third-best record in baseball; the Twins are all but mathematically eliminated from the playoffs; time is a flat circle.