comScore

What was this man doing with his privates in the park?

itemprop

The Pioneer Press has a pretty impressive ability to find the most ridiculous police reports in St. Paul and actually write about them. This one is a real gem.

Officer Kevin Clarkin was on duty in Lilydale Regional Park Monday morning when he "found a man in the woods of a city park with his penis exposed, doing something which is usually done in private."

He said "the act caused" him to arrest the 58-year-old man for suspicion of indecent conduct. This is the second time he's been busted "for the same thing."

What could this man have been doing with his privates in a public place? The possibilities are endless! We'd prefer to think of the extreme options this man could have chosen to really impress the park visitors, but we'll keep the graphic explanations to ourselves. Maybe we'll visit the park when the man is back at it just to see it with our own eyes. Or definitely not.