What Bryant McKinnie did with his summer vacation
Bryant McKinnie, preparing for training camp.
Bryant McKinnie is no longer the giant man on the end of the Vikings offensive line, thanks to his reported losing battle against weight gain.
McKinnie was placed on the "non-football injury" list on Monday, which was taken to mean he was simply too out of shape for training camp.
If the Vikings were curious how McKinnie got himself out of shape, there's no need to ask Big Mac. The evidence is all there in a series of joyful but perhaps ill-advised tweets that McKinnie has been sending out for months.
City Pages kept an eye on McKinnie, and what follows is the true, tweeted story of how Bryant McKinnie spent his summer vacation.
The offseason gave Bryant a chance to reconnect with friends.
For example, his production company, B Major, threw a birthday party for Lil Kim at a club called Santos in Miami.
That party, as recorded by a slickly produced video, featured not only Lil Kim but famous athlete/partymen, Dennis Rodman and Floyd Mayweather, Jr. From the looks of it, Bryant had a really good time.
Some times McKinnie asked for a helping hand, as in this case when he challenged his Twitter followers with a specific, time-sensitive question.
What strip club open still n Miami
Other times, he used Twitter to send messages to individual friends, like this well-named woman who wanted McKinnie's whereabouts.
@NOPANTIESINC on my way
McKinnie is a social animal, and can be disappointed when others fail to reach out to him. In this case, he's saddened to learn that Sheneka Adams -- a hip-hop video vixen who got semi-famous after a solo sex tape -- did not call him when she was in town.
@Sheneka_Adams so u was hear & aint hit me up doe
In another instance, Bryant tweeted at Luther "Luke" Campbell, the former front man for the stripper-loving rap group 2 Live Crew and a fourth-place finisher for mayor of Miami.
Presumably, McKinnie wanted to discuss a fair tax plan for the city, and not their shared love of exotic dancers.
@unclelukereal1 check ur DM
McKinnie keeps in touch not only with big-time celebrities, but also those on the smaller end, as in this case when he tweeted with Shay "Buckeey" Johnson, a contestant on VH1's "Flavor of Love" who has since gone into pantsless modeling.
@ShayJohnson well text me
On page two, consider Bryant McKinnie, strip club gentleman, and watch his half-hearted attempt to get in touch with a personal trainer.
McKinnnie retweeted the kind words of a lady, who, it seems, works in the dancing industry. He was credited with "making it rain" the previous night, a practice in which a patron showers the ladies with cash, like a rainfall.
McKinnie's response, captured in the parentheses, is that of a gentleman.
McKinnie really wanted to stay in shape, he did. Here, he's trying to get the attention of Jeanette Jenkins, personal trainer to the stars.
It's a little bit funny to watch someone use Twitter to alert someone of a coming phone call, but so be it, he's on the right track.
Hey @JeanetteJenkins I'm calling u
But more often, McKinnie was fielding and responding to questions from friends, as in this case when a woman asked about the dress code for an upcoming party. McKinnie, again, answers in the parentheses.
Some nights were fun, but maybe went on a little too long.
Home wit the biggest headache
At one point in the offseason, an unidentified tweeter tried to pick a fight with McKinnie, who apparently does not suffer fools in his Twitterverse.
Yo & if yall only knew how old some of these clowns was wit a twitter spazzin out like hoes u would die laughin!
After a while, the man got under McKinnie's skin. Big Mac tried to say that he was going to refrain from being the old, troublesome Bryant McKinnie.
But an unfortunate misspelling made it seem more like he was redecorating his house with a portrait.
Tryin 2 reframe from the old me!
At the end of that rant, McKinnie produced a bold, important statement, one that everyone should keep in mind.
They need 2 stop giving clowns twitter
- Vikings cut Bryant McKinnie for being a chronic fat-ass [UPDATE]
Bryant McKinnie runs up $100,000 bar tab
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