We're basically losing I-35W for the summer: How the hell will you get around? [POLL]

Richard Tsong-Taatarii

Richard Tsong-Taatarii

Here's our official editorial position on traffic: gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! 

We imagine you feel the same way. Well, bad news: I-35W, Minneapolis' main vehicular artery, will be a clusterfuck of epic proportions beginning mid-June.

That's when a four-month closure of the major northbound entrance into downtown will begin. The Minnesota Department of Transportation is also shutting down the northbound flyover bridge to westbound I-94, plus two downtown outbound ramps -- 12th Street and 4th Avenue -- to southbound I-35W. If you're headed into downtown on I-35W from the south, that means you'll have to squeeze by U.S. Bank Stadium via the winding ramp at 3rd Street and Washington Avenue.

But wait, that's not all! The tortuousness will stretch south along I-35W, with MnDOT decommissioning various bridges, on-ramps, and off-ramps through the season. Additional buses will be added and carpools will be incentivized, the Star Tribune reports, but make no mistake: This will be the goddamn worst. Be sure to check out the Strib's map of agony

Never ones to waste a polling opportunity, City Pages wants to know your preferred alternative route when I-35W transforms into a car-logged hellscape.

Have a lurching, honk-tastic summer! 

What's your go-to route for avoiding I-35W?
Highway 100
Bike, but be insufferable about it
Hennepin Avenue
Bus, but be insufferable about how you'd rather be biking
Lyndale Avenue
Zipline ("Nothing more Minneapolis!" declares Mayor Frey)
Nicollet Avenue
Spelunking through the sewers
1st Avenue
Telecommute, but shake your first and pound the mouse during slow load times
Park Avenue
Hoverboards are a thing now, right?
Chicago Avenue
Cedar Avenue
Mississippi River Parkway
The actual Mississippi River
Highway 55
Move away and never return
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