A Minnesota man and his grandfather are fighting — passive-aggressively, of course — for their right to use cool power tools.
According to a video posted on LiveLeak.com, a seemingly mundane yearlong feud between Northfield neighbors has boiled over the fence in the most angrily cordial way possible. Being a helpful grandson the man, identified only as James, regularly handles the silver-haired patriarch’s yard work. Oftentimes, that work involves noisy electric that irk his neighbor.
“Almost every time I use machines in the yard, he comes out into his yard to harass and yell at me,” James writes in the video’s intro.
Looking to catch the alleged power tool-hating curmudgeon in the act, James fired up his wood chipper and let a camera roll. When the neighbor emerges for a fence-side chat, James grabs his cam and his grandpa to capture the epically restrained bickering between the perturbed middle-ager and docile old man.
Apparently, the disgruntled neighbor is trying to chill out on a Saturday evening. But all that motorized wood grinding, which he says happens once or twice a week, is harshing his mellow. According to grandpa, they’re just “trimming our shrubberies,” bro. The neighbor’s chief beef is that James allegedly leaves the chipper running idly while he gathers the twigs, prolonging the buzz-and-clatter nightmare.
“This is really unfortunate, because you don’t need to use this much power tools all the time,” the neighbor says calmly, with an underlying hint of disdain.
“He likes power tools and I like power tools,” grandpa flatly responds.
Over the four-minute exchange, the bubbling rage foments into indirect snideness and condescending sighs. Nary is a voice raised throughout the Minnesota-style confrontation.
“It’s unfortunate that you feel that your property requires that kind of mechanized attention,” the neighbor says politely through gritted teeth.
“I guess it is unfortunate, but that’s the way it is,” grandpa agrees.
Like the majority of bloodletting wars, the dispute ends when the two sides internalize their anger and civilly wish each other a good night.
But wait, this is the Internet. There has to be a winner and loser, right?
While James took the spat public, LiveLeak commenters – the only jury that matters – largely side with the neighbor, accusing James of being “douche baggy [sic]” and some way more vulgar stuff.
“If I was your neighbour you would wake up unable to sit down,” writes user Bad Karma.
What say you? Who’s the real tool here?