Vikings have one of the ugliest uniforms in pro sports, according to ESPN
Brock looked pretty good during his stint with the Vikes back in '04, but the Purple's threads haven't evolved for the better in recent years.
Did you know ESPN employs a uniform blogger? Well, now you do. His name is Paul Lukas, and this week he unveiled his ultimate project -- a ranked countdown of all 122 MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL uniforms, worst to first.
Suffice it to say, we apparently don't have very strong sports fashion sense up here in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Though the Wild ended up at a praise-worthy 32nd-most-fashionable, our other three teams uglied their way into the lower half of the list. The Wolves are the second-lowest ranked NBA team; the Vikes the fourth-lowest of any team in any sport.
For Lukas, the simpler the better. Got a 1970's-esque, two-tone collar? (See photo above) Better have a good reason. Intricate pine tree-blending-into-a-river design on your shorts, like the Wolves? It's athletic attire, not Picasso's canvas.
Here's what Lukas had to say about each of Minnesota's teams, along with their ranking.
-- Vikings (119 out of 122) --
"It didn't seem possible that this design could get any worse -- until they came out with that two-tone collar for this season."
-- T-Wolves (115) --
The Wolves have the second-ugliest uni in the NBA, according to Lukas.
"The Wolves' numbering and lettering have evolved over the years from illegible to semi-legible to childish, which only counts as progress if you think getting a D on your term paper is better than flunking out. Meanwhile, the uniform design has featured one useless gimmick after another (the "tree line" on the shorts, the odd collars, etc.). Instead of tweaking the same concept over and over, they need to go back to the drawing board and start from scratch, pronto."
-- Twins (71) --
"The Twins' home script hasn't aged well. It always felt too clunky, and now it also feels too 1980s. The current road script is handsome but feels too clean, too sterile, like it was designed by someone at Hallmark instead of someone connected to the sports world. The net result is a look that feels just a tad rinky-dink -- the uniform equivalent of a four-A player. Also: Too many alternates."
-- Minnesota Wild (32) --
"Almost every design move by this franchise has been a winner, from the primary logo (love the North Star as the bear's eye) to the handsome script on the alternate uni. The circular logo on the home uniform feels a bit forced -- it's a little presumptuous for a team to go old-school when it's existed for only a dozen years -- but it's still a good-looking design. Whoever's running the graphics program here, keep it up."
Lukas' top ten goes like this:
3. St. Louis Cardinals
Lukas' ugliest overall uniform belongs to the NBA's Sacramento Kings, with the Bengals striped do-dads getting second-worst dishonors.
In sum, not only do our pro sports teams pretty much suck, but they add insult to injury by looking unfashionable while losing.
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