The citizens of Inver Grove Heights can sleep safely in their beds tonight. Police officers have finally captured the lone goat that has been wandering the city’s streets (and nightmares) for days.
“He’s actually pretty tame, but was obviously afraid,” a post on the police department’s Facebook page reads. Photos show the goat standing in a dog kennel, looking unimpressed, with several round goat turds already scattered on the floor.
Police Chief Paul Schnell wasn’t immediately available for comment, so it’s impossible to know what ungodly prizes this devil spawn tempted the officers with upon capture. The post does say the department promised any officer who could capture the goat alive all-you-can-eat pizza and wings.
It’s still not clear who the goat belongs to -- if anyone -- so they’ll take it to a Minnesota-based shelter for farm animals, where presumably, it will assume a new, more powerful form.