It'll be hotter than hell this week in the Twin Cities, and everywhere else in this country except for the Pacific Northwest. Weather people are warning about something called "corn sweat," which sounds delicious but will actually be downright miserable.
With high humidity and temps soaring toward 100 degrees, you'll want to wear something that's light, and distinguished, while still broadcasting the fact that you might be absolutely batshit crazy.
May we suggest a shawl made out of the American flag?
This, shall we say, unconventional outfit is the preferred get-up of Sheri Auclair, delegate to the Republican National Convention hailing from the Twin Cities suburb of Wayzata. Auclair was depicted wearing this unique item of clothing just a few days ago in the Star Tribune, where she proudly positioned herself as one of the state's few committed Donald Trump delegates making the trip to Cleveland.
"Sure, occasionally I think [Trump] should stuff a sock in it," said Auclair, talking about Trump like he was her loudmouthed spouse on a reality TV show. ("Coming this fall to Fox News, it's The Real Housewives of the Nuclear Apocalypse.")
Auclair continued: "What it comes down to is, I love America, I can’t stand what’s happening to it, and he’s the only one talking about it.”
Auclair has helpfully provided people with visual reminders of how much she loves America. Here's how she dressed up for her Star Tribune portrait.
Note, on the bed next to her: one of the Trump "Make America Great Again" hats. If this election comes down to campaign accessories, Hillary Clinton has no chance.
The flag shawl has proven irresistible for photographers. Yesterday, the Associated Press circulated a photo of Auclair, mid-yelp, looking like some sort of God-sent eagle, come to peck Trump's party critics to a patriotic death.
At this precise moment, delegates were engaged in a floor fight over convention rules, which was, at root, just another fight about whether Trump was the right candidate for the Republican Party. Auclair, we're pretty sure, responded to the controversy by repeatedly yelling "Americaaaaaaaa!"until the other side stopped resisting and/or left the building.
The photo caught on, and was foisted upon people by such news sites as CNN, among others. This was not lost on Auclair, who was pretty pleased with her moment in the spotlight.
Over at MPR's NewsCut blog, Bob Collins asks if Auclair's efforts at literally wrapping herself in the flag aren't actually an affront to it; official code for the flag says it shouldn't be "used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery."
But in fairness, that code was written before Auclair poked holes in hers and turned it into the must-have fashion accessory for the worst, most insane American summer in recent memory.
Over the weekend, Auclair added another visual, this one of her own making, to her limited catalog of looks.
Come to think of it, have you ever seen Sherri Auclair not wearing that American flag shawl?
No, you haven't. And there is a good goddamn reason for that.
It's because America.