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Trump follows 43 Twitter accounts. See the scary little world he lives in

Associated Press

Associated Press

[Editor's note: In the interest of giving Americans insight into their new ruler's great, powerful mind, City Pages created a list of the 43 Twitter accounts Donald Trump follows. Click here to see the whole list, and subscribe to How Trump sees Twitter. Below, consider some of the tweets the president would've seen last week, and how they might appear through his eyes.] 

Nero is said to have fiddled as Rome burned. Emperor Trump tweets, settings fires anew.

In a matter of months, Donald Trump’s Twitter account has emitted a torrent of shocking claims: “Millions…voted illegally” for Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama is a “bad (or sick) guy” who had Trump’s phones tapped. Snoop Dogg has a “failing career.”

Each time Trump punches that blue button, it unsettles American democracy and world diplomacy. Except for him.

The president is remarkably picky on Twitter, where he follows just 43 accounts: his kids, people who work for him, his biggest fans at Fox News, his hotels and golf courses.

In this carefully curated stream, Trump is still the center of a scary world. Only here, he’s the good guy, the hero who’s come to set everything right.

Here are some of the tweets Trump saw last week…and what they look like through his eyes.

What Trump sees: By far the biggest threat of the day. Trump has asked legal advisers if he can have Arnold indicted, deported, evicted, or “blown up a couple times, like in Terminator.”

What Trump sees: The future administrator of NASA. Who better to represent the human race as we go looking for intelligent life? Ivanka’s the smartest woman in America, the best businesswoman, the most beautiful, very physically fit. She’s perfect. Not an ounce of fat on her.

What Trump sees: More anti-American bullying from the pointy-headed liberals. The United States is plenty big. Yuuuge. Florida is giving the Gulf of Mexico everything she can handle.

 

What Trump sees: ACCURATE POLL! Real news! Scary! Witches!

What Trump sees: Survivor, tremendous show, great ratings for many years. Trump’s a fan of this guy Stephen, who is not in Fiji to make friends, plays to win. Maybe he’d be good on the Supreme Court if another justice dies?

What Trump sees: The first environmental policy proposal he actually likes. We’ll golf our way to better water!

What Trump sees: A hell of a bargain, but it’s just the beginning. Trump’s also planning a driving range on the National Mall, some prime real estate no one’s thought to make money off yet. Half off during aerification!

What Trump sees: Bird, yeah. Singing, that’s nice. Oh! That reminds him: The other day, when Angela Merkel was looking the other way, Trump gave her the finger! It was so awesome! Ask Bannon.

What Trump sees: An epidemic of horrific violations. The immigration part. Only when we clear our country of these criminals can we go back to treating women with the respect and affection they deserve. No one loves affectionately respecting women more than Trump.

What Trump sees: A capital crime that should be investigated immediately. Which traitor leaked the details of the health care plan?

What Trump sees: A nice, big hand dwarfing the British Prime Minister’s, though that’s as far as things got, because the president is a true gentleman. Especially with an old bag like that. Gross.

What Trump sees: A father-son bonding moment. So you think it’s special you take your kid out for brunch? Ever work together to get a former president thrown in jail?

What Trump sees: An opportunity. Guy with a name like that, he’ll never make it through customs. He can try calling the Donald from an airport payphone...in handcuffs. Total power move.

What Trump sees: When Geraldo’s right, Geraldo’s right. Ivanka’s edges are just right. She’s got this one where her hip runs into the small of her back, and when she walks away. … Anyway, point is: Celebrity Apprentice, great show! Fabulous ratings!

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