Top 5 Hate Mails of the Week: You're not deep enough for Taylor Swift edition

When Taylor Swift was caught mocking Aunt Madge's accent, we were so outraged we needed two keyboards just to type in all the exclamation points. But readers wanted us to STFU.

When Taylor Swift was caught mocking Aunt Madge's accent, we were so outraged we needed two keyboards just to type in all the exclamation points. But readers wanted us to STFU.

Welcome to this Friday's episode of Top 5 Hate Mails of the Week, which is already being hailed by the Columbia Journalism Review as a "spectacularly reckless use of reader-generated content."

In today's installment, we have a marauding defense of all things Taylor Swift, plus the long-awaited resurrection of the communist insult, that multi-purpose weapon last invoked by your grandpa in a 1973 argument over DNR fishing regulations.  

Trumpeters, commence with the merriment!

5.  10 observations on Taylor Swift's night 3 teengasm at Xcel

Reader Emily Johnson applauded our assessment of Swift's St. Paul show, praising our sensitivity and intellectual heft:   

"This was so fucking patronizing. Honestly, I don't think the people at City Pages actually care to know anything about what they're writing about. There are fans who literally spend countless hours designing and creating outfits to wear, sewing lights into their dresses for a shot of being picked for Loft 89 to hang with Taylor.

"It's hilarious because everything teenage girls do will be mocked. And she's very vocal about that. Not to mention that she talked for fifteen minutes before "Clean" to explain the song and how important it was to find your sense of self after it's been lost. But you thought it was about an STD??? Hmm, guess you were thinking too hard about what pseudo-intellectual thing to write in your article to actually listen." 

4. & 3. Why cooks should stop fetishizing work

Food critic Mecca Bos questioned the 12-hour days and punishing work week of the restaurant industry, which tends to embrace the labor practices of a North Korean penal colony. But reader Sean Elstone raises the dreaded specter of — no, don't say it! — T.G.I. Fridays as evidence that Bos' Trotskyite blather is not suited for polite company.  

"I looked the writer up before I wrote this comment. Her very generous bio says she's worked in restaurants for the last 15 years while also writing for a plethora of papers and blogs. 1) That's not possible. 2) If she's worked in restaurants for 15 years, she'd understand why, in great restaurants, a cook puts in time off the clock and a chef works 60-100 hours for a salary that no one wants to do the math on. 3) She'd understand why restaurants are a give and take.

"If you want to support the idea that restaurants should be a 'normal' place to work, I hope you enjoy T.G.I. Friday's. Great restaurants are such because the people that work there push themselves to be great, beyond an 8-hour work day, beyond a 5-day work week, and dedicate themselves to the schedule because they know the food will suffer, as will their fellows cooks and chefs, if they call out or no-show. So the next time you want to write this communist crap, keep it to yourself."

Meanwhile, reader Jstamina420 asserts there's something far worse than communism:

Subject: Weak

Contact Name: Go

Contact Company: Fuck

Contact Location: Yourself

Contact Email: [email protected]

Message: You're writing is weak. You have no idea what it's like to be a professional chef. Unions. That's fucking hilarious . Have you ever seen an establishment run by union? Enough of your banter already. 

2. & 1. Damning evidence Taylor Swift thinks Minnesotans are idiots

Music editor Jay Boller was outraged when he stumbled across video of a 2009 radio interview with Taylor Swift. The songstress was captured doing her best impression of a Minnesota soccer mom, though she sounded more like your Aunt Madge who runs a roadside bait and smoked walleye shop outside Cloquet.

Either way, Swift was clearly mocking us. Or at least engaged in some very regrettable cultural appropriation. So, yes, Boller was outraged. We're the media. That's what we do. And since Boller has a man-bun, his outrage comes 18 percent faster than the rest of us.

But reader Michelle Leigh wants him cease and desist:

"STFU, Jay Boller! Have you not a humorous bone in your damned body? If you need something to rant on, make damned sure it is something intended to be mean.

"If you don't like Taylor Swift, that is one thing. But to say, 'You can skip St. Paul and take your roving caravan of middle America pigeonholing elsewhere, like the Bankers Life Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, where they put up with this kind of trash,' is demeaning to not only Taylor, but to her fans as well.

"Grow up, young man! This is a non-story teller looking to make headlines!" 

Finally, the best insult of the week comes from reader Carrie Selden, who sneers at our rather humble record of scholastic achievement, a very sore point with our parents:

"City Pages, STFU. This is the best impression ever and had nothing to do with insulting Minnesotans. Journalism? You're an embarrassment to your Normandale degree, don't cha know."