When Tom Emmer ran into gay rights advocate/prankster Nick Espinosa at the Minnesota State Fair, it looked a lot more likely that Emmer would hurt Espinosa than the other way around. He didn't, but Emmer was pretty forceful in telling Espinosa to "take a hike."
But rather than using old-timer tough talk to deal with Espinosa's pranksters, Emmer's got a better idea: Get the cops and district attorneys involved, and lock these criminals up!
On the Davis and Emmer radio show this morning, Emmer felt like he needed to stick up for "the marriage amendment folks," referring to anti-gay marriage group Minnesota for Marriage, whose booth was the target of a horrific glitter-bombing at the State Fair. There were no survivors.
No, just kidding. But Emmer still freaked out pretty good about it.
"You know what?" Emmer asked his listeners. "It's an assault."
Bob Davis, he of the big hair and indoor sunglasses, got the crazy ball rolling, explaining that the glitter-bombings were "quasi-violent," and then saying that it was going to get someone seriously hurt.
"That glitter attack stuff is really testing that line, and I'm going to tell you what's going to happen, somebody is going to pull a trick and they're going to get shot. That's what's going to happen. Or they're going to get hurt."
Yes, exactly. Davis is just looking out for the protesters. Back in the '60s, Bob Davis would have had the courage to tell Martin Luther King's buddies, "Hey, listen fellas, someone's going to get hit with the fire hose."
Emmer called Espinosa -- whom he wouldn't refer to by name -- a "foolish, immature, attention-starved young man," which we all know is nonsense: Espinosa gets plenty of attention!
Matter of fact, he just got written up in the New York Times, which last week ran an Op-Ed piece about the glitter-bomb phenomenon. There, Newt Gingrich, victim of the first glitter-bombing in May, voiced a rather extreme perspective about Espinosa dropping glitter on him:
"Glitter bombing is clearly an assault and should be treated as such. When someone reaches into a bag and throws something on you, how do you know if it is acid or something that stains permanently or something that can blind you? People have every right to their beliefs but no right to assault others."Gee, labeling glitter-bombing an "assault" sounds awful familiar. Maybe Tom Emmer borrowed some of Newt's crazy juice before this morning's radio show.
To be fair, Gingrich makes a good point about not knowing that it's glitter until it's already been dumped on you. It's like, when someone shakes your hand, how do you know they aren't holding one of those buzzer things?
Emmer decided to take the very popular, common conservative position of blaming police.
"I don't understand what is wrong with our law enforcement folks," he began, "and more importantly with our less than responsible left-wing liberal media, aside from the fact that I guess tolerance only goes one way for them."
Then, after calling glitter-bombs "assault," he backed off a bit, and turned into an environmentalist.
"At the very least," he said, beginning to shout, "it violates every law on littering that we have in this state."
Emmer's absolutely right. The front lines on the battle against littering is clearly the Minnesota State Fair. Maybe we should give you and Nick Espinosa a couple of brooms, send you out there, and you two can figure this thing out.