Tim Pawlenty tries to be funny during RNC speech, fails [VIDEO]
The comedic stylings of T-Paw: "Barack Obama's failed us. But look, it's understandable. A lot of people fail at their first job!"
Paul Ryan may have served up a pack of lies, but here's one thing we learned during last night's RNC speeches -- T-Paw is about as funny as stubbing your toe, and equally annoying.
During his festivity-opening speech, Pawlenty did his best stand-up comic impersonation, minus the laughs. For his effort, the Washington Post named him the top loser of the night.
Via BringMeTheNews, here's a rundown of some of the jokes T-Paw tried to crack during his 10-minute speech, followed by the raw footage. Most of the "funny" stuff happens during the first five minutes:
- "Good evening everyone, and welcome to Barack Obama's retirement party!"
- "I hear Joe's (Biden) particularly interested in tonight's proceedings. He even thought about coming here to Tampa. And he's taking notes because when Paul Ryan speaks, Joe will finally get to hear what a real vice president sounds like!
- "But you know, President Obama isn't as bad as people say, he's actually worse."
- "The president takes more vacations than that guy on the Bizarre Foods show."
- "And I'll give Barack Obama credit for creating jobs these last four years - for golf caddies."
- "I've come to realize that Barack Obama is the tattoo president. Like a big tattoo, it seemed cool when you were young. But later on, that decision doesn't look so good, and you wonder: what was I thinking?"
- "Barack Obama's failed us. But look, it's understandable. A lot of people fail at their first job."
- "With any luck, in a few months, Barack Obama will at last get some experience in the private sector."
We'll never understand why the former governor of Minnesota fashions himself as some sort of amateur comedian. He opened his speech Wednesday night with 10 minutes of not-so-funny jokes about Obama that elicited as many groans as laughs. Once Pawlenty turned to advocating for Romney and the Republican Party, he did quite well. But that was about three-quarters of the way through his speech. Too little. Too late.
Think there's a single Republican who regrets Romney's choice of Ryan over T-Paw for the running-mate gig after watching their respective performances last night? Even though Ryan's speech had pants throughout the country spontaneously combusting, we doubt it.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- Minnesota Reps. Tim Kelly, Tara Mack ticketed for "making out" in a car
Sat., Sep. 19, 7:00pm
Sun., Sep. 20, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 26, 2:30pm
Sun., Sep. 27, 12:00pm
- Lake Calhoun gets guerrilla-style name change
- John Kline once again fights against workers' rights