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Three options for Cargill to leave Minnesota. Or act like grownups.

Cargill could always move to scenic Texas, which has virtually no regulatory environment. The drawback is they have virtually no regulatory environment and a neighboring business could explode.

Cargill could always move to scenic Texas, which has virtually no regulatory environment. The drawback is they have virtually no regulatory environment and a neighboring business could explode. Ken Lund

Reader Greg Olson responds to Cargill, America's biggest private company, comes begging for Minnesota's help:

I've been looking at alternatives for Cargill and I'll offer them up in order of viability:

1) Move to Texas. They have virtually no regulatory environment. The drawback is they have virtually no regulatory environment and a neighboring business could explode, sending your business to smithereens along with it.

2) Move to the Phillipines. Labor is cheap as hell. The problem is that if their president gets up on the wrong side of the bed, he'll actually murder you. Better pass on that.

3) Move overseas to where white people come from! Russia, here we come! Putin even likes Trump. Just mind your Ps and Qs because he'll poison you if you bitch about taxes.

4) That brings us to the last option. Shut up and pay your taxes like a grown-up. You have more money than you can possibly use in a lifetime. Minnesota has been good to you. Return the courtesy.