Planning to die soon? Or ever?
Then it's not too early to start thinking about how you want to be remembered. For most of us who didn't live (or, God forbid, die) in a public way, an obituary in the local newspaper is as good a formal goodbye as you'll get in this world.
We humbly suggest you go out in style, like Dorothy Mueller, an apparently awesome woman whose obituary appeared in the Star Tribune on Sunday.
Perhaps you can tell why it stands out a little among the other headshots.
The text that ran alongside it is a little less colorful, but has its moments. Mueller, who died the Friday before, is described as having "escaped the Excelsior nursing home... to start her final journey through the University of Minnesota Medical School," seemingly a reference to organ donation.
There's also this line.
Dorothy, also known as Gigi and Gram, matriculated at Clown School and excelled at speed skating, bowling, dumpster diving, "snake-hips", and making excellent toast for her grandchildren.
There was no formal funeral service for Dorothy Jetta Mueller. Instead, family members "celebrated her life with many stories and a Kahlua toast." She was laid to what sounds like a well-deserved rest at the Lakewood Cemetery.
Mueller's age isn't given. Someome who lived like this, that stupid number didn't matter anyway.