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This is a good mayor guy

Vote for Tim Fiskal, the only candidate in America we can believe in.

Vote for Tim Fiskal, the only candidate in America we can believe in.

Terry Aasness is the mayor of Evansville, Minnesota (population 612) and he's running for reelection this year.

Aasness, a dairy farmer and assistant chief of the area fire department, has a few would-be successors challenging him for the top job in west-central Minnesota. Frankly, it's a little hard to tell what the issues are in that hamlet.

A quick visit to the City of Evansville's official website finds the most recent update was a detailed rundown of city business at a city council meeting -- from 2007.

Whatever, Evansville. City Pages encourages you to drop this regular mayor guy you have, and start voting for Tim Fiskal, a bearded, truth-speaking candidate whose visage and voice recently graced the West Douglas County Record.

The newspaper's get-to-know-a-candidate feature caught the attention of Peter Glessing, a communications specialist with the Lockridge Grindal Nauen lobbying firm.

Why Fiskal caught Glessing's eye becomes obvious with one look at Fiskal, and the remarkable list of five things he wanted potential voters to know. Here are five reactions we have to Tim Fiskal's list of five policy positions.

1.) Dogs are awesome, and Baby Jesus is easily one of the best Jesuses.

2.) Did he forget to finish number 2?

3.) When a man looks like this, the words "Step up. Step out. Rise above." are always going to sound like lyrics to a pretty kickin' song.

4.) "Be kind to all" is the greatest policy platform any politician has ever espoused. This would've been Jesus' slogan if he'd had to campaign for the job of Jesus.

5.) Now we get to the meat and potatoes of campaigning, when Tim Fiskal tells the Evansvilleians what they should expect from the first four years of a Fiskal administration. Flowers in the spring.

When the ground freezes, and yields no more, the children will play hockey or practice figure skating. If Tim Fiskal is not mayor of Evansville next year, there can be only one explanation: That town has stopped reading the local newspaper and has no idea how kickass one of their candidates is.

 

Previously, in This is a good thing: