There's something very, very wrong with us!

"We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us . . ." - John Winger, Stripes (1981)

Are we losers? Mutants? Man, I surely don't feel like either, but the mantle says otherwise. With the Philadelphia Phillies World Series win over Tampa, Philly ended their 25-year championship draught, claiming the city's first title since the 76ers won the NBA Championship back in 1983. Washington, D.C. hasn't claimed a ring since '92 when the Redskins won the Super Bowl (perhaps ironically) at the Metrodome. I was at that game, and I didn't feel like a loser then, either. I still have the ticket stub and program. That's cool, right?

Perhaps we had more reasons to feel cool back then, with the Twins coming off their second title in five seasons. Since then . . . nothing. At least not in the trophy case. And, with the Phillies win, said dry spell has the Twin Cities now staring in the inauspicious role of being the 4-sport market with the nation's longest championship void.

Not that there haven't been a wealth of good teams, players and postseason runs since back in '91. Just no champs. Here's a look at where our current four teams have taken us in the last 17 respective seasons since our last parade (North Stars not withstanding as to avoid further sensations of loserdom; Wild began franchise play in 2000-01).

Minnesota Twins (1992-Present)


Regular Season: 1,325-1,360 (.493 win %)

Playoffs (4 appearances): 6-15 (.286%)

Most recent confetti flirtation: ALCS loss in 2002

Minnesota Vikings (1992-Present)

Regular Season: 147-117 (.557%)

Playoffs (8 appearances): 5-8 (.385%)

Most recent confetti flirtation: NFC Conference Championship loss in 2000

Minnesota Wild (2000-Present)

Regular Season: 260-224-55-45 (.531% of total points available)

Playoffs (3 appearances): 11-18 (.407%)

Most recent confetti flirtation: lost in Western Conference Finals, 2002-03

Minnesota Timberwolves (1992-Present)

Regular Season: 584-699 (.455%)

Playoffs: (8 appearances): 17-30 (.362%)

Most recent confetti flirtation: lost in Western Conference Finals, 2003-04