Do you like looking at yourself naked?
Do you like looking at the naked person next to you without looking directly at said naked person? Do you like knowing that the naked person next to you can see you, naked, from all angles?
If you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, then have we got a product for you!
ClearMirror, a company based in Woodbury, Minnesota — the most comfortably nude town in the state, we're learning — has introduced a new product it's calling the "Big Sexy." It's a full-length, fog-free mirror that goes in your shower, and affords its owner an unobstructed view of ... whatever it is that's going on in the shower.
ClearMirror advertises the Big Sexy as "perfect for large, luxury showers." Implied, but not made explicit, is that installing a full-length mirror in your large, luxury shower means that you'll probably be having some sex in there.
The Minnesota company describes itself as the "leading provider" of fogless mirrors. Earlier products include the "original" vanity mirror, which could allow a woman to apply makeup when just out of the shower, or the shower option, which lets a guy do his shaving in the shower.
Now comes the Big Sexy, which lets you see your face, plus the five feet of space beneath it. Wonder what's down there.
Not keen on the idea of seeing everything you've got every single day? For an older generation traumatized by Hitchcock movies, consider this your one and only chance to avoid a Psycho shower scene.
The release announcing the arrival of the Big Sexy mirror promises a "lifetime of function and beauty" — for the mirror, not for you. You've probably only got a few good years left.