Spotted: The human billboard
class=img_thumbleft>Is there any sadder sight than the broke-ass bastard who straps a sandwich board over his chest and stands on a street corner in exchange for minimum wage? The front of the board reports that a hot dog wholesaler has a gross of tube steaks that are running up aganst their expiration date; the back says thatthe price is right
. The look on the face of the man wearing the wooden sign says: Soon, I'm going to be spending my newfound cash on liquor that comes out of a plastic bottle.
Americans have long pimped themselves out to sportingwear manufacturers, musicians, and athletes--advertising their logos, names, and numbers on our chests. Now, it appears the rest of corporate America is getting in on the act.
That's what I thought while looking around a packed 747 on Monday morning, flying out of Memphis to MSP. Everywhere there were windbreakers and billed caps, suitcase tags and laminated badge straps that identified a person as belonging to a Fortune 500 company. We are emissaries of their might; we wear their uniform.
The man in seat B of row 32 donned a matching cap and t-shirt for Novar, which boasted of the company's relationship to Wal-Mart. Apparently the sandwich boards are too big to fit through the metal detector. Does Novar pay a wardrobe inspector, I wondered, to see to it that its employees are donning the company shirt on company time?
On one hand, I'll admit that I'd never heard of Novar--a newly acquired subsidiary of Honeywell. Having been inspired to look the company up on a website called Google--the T-shirt worked!--I now have learned that "Novar Retail has proven itself an industry leader in delivering advanced automated building control solutions to meet each customer's specific needs."
And so if I ever find myself in possession of a big-box retail superstore, I'll know who to call to set the thermostat.
To the extent that he was sitting behind me, I can provide no word on whether Novar's vassal availed himself of the airline minibar.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- A terrible Minneapolis park deal just got $2 million worse
Sat., Sep. 19, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 19, 7:00pm
Sun., Sep. 20, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 26, 2:30pm
- Why you should never run over a kid while flying a confederate flag
- Minnesota has eighth most expensive cigarettes