Thursday's five most fascinating stories printed on wood pulp:
We're not quite sure if we should laugh or hide our heads in shame when our mayor and local weatherman are both lobbying Facebook to let them add more friends. Yes, they have both hit the 5,000-friend limit and are begging Facebook to let them show how popular they really are. Because that's what really matters in life. Rybak claims he legitimately uses it to communicate with residents, but we know he's just vain. We've got an idea: The two should learn the classic "spring cleaning" Facebook game where you go through and passive-aggressively remove people you really never liked in the first place. Or we have an idea... can't we go back to the time when Facebook was literally used as a way to connect with real friends instead of ridiculous PR and publicity?
Forty-one eighth-graders from three Robbinsdale middle schools were inside the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. when a man began shooting people inside and killed a security guard. The chaperones said they did not see or hear the attack and were calmly escorted out of the building.
If you happened to take the monster muskie from a Park Rapids motel, the owner would really appreciate it if you returned it. No questions asked. We're sure it was just a misunderstanding. The 50-inch muskie was Butch Cole's first and he wants it back big time.
The construction workers creating the Target Center's green roof went on strike this morning, saying they have a right to unionize after unsafe working conditions and payment shortfalls. The Stock Roofing Company employees say they have been forced to work in the dark with no safety equipment and have been shorted up to $20 an hour in pay.
Blame the bad economy for fewer flights and more potential layoffs. This time it's at Delta Air Lines. The airline will cut capacity by 10 percent this year compared to 2008.