Retro Craze Sweeps Minnesota State Patrol


This morning, the Minnesota State Po-Po unveiled a totally bitchin' new look for their squad cars. The State Patrol opted for a vintage maroon-body/white-door design to "reflect the Patrol squad cars used during 1960-1991," according to a radical press release disseminated earlier today.

The throwback look will be phased in as new cars join the fleet in order to "help motorists better recognize troopers, understand their duties, and how the agency supports safe travel on Minnesota roads." None of the tragically square current cars--which feature lame-o gold strips across maroon bodies--will be outfitted with the new design. Consequently, there will be no extra costs to the changes.

State troopers themselves are expected to participate in the retro trend by growing out their cop-mustaches, drinking Beam-and-Cokes during lunch breaks, and terrorizing long-hairs.