Retiring doc delivered 16,000 ugly babies


So when you lose your job and you are sitting at home in your pajamas recreating your resume, what can you put on that pathetic page of paper? Dr. John Battaglino of West Virginia might be retiring, but he'd put your resume to shame.

Here are some straight numbers he can list under accomplishments: He's delivered 16,000 babies in his 47 years of work. He's counted 320,000 fingers and toes, gazed into 32,000 pairs of eyes, and swaddled a total 64,000 arms and legs of little new additions to the world, says the Wheeling Intelligencer.

Battaglino did his fellowship at the University of Minnesota and conducted his first delivery at St. Phillips Hospital in 1953 as a medical student in Richmond, Va. He is now a retirin obstetrician/gynecologist at Wheeling Hospital.

Now before you get too hung up on the miracle of birth and the idea of 16,000 precious wonderful babies to have and to hold, step back for a second. Newborns are ugly, ugly creatures. We almost feel bad for the guy. Or perhaps impressed he could tolerate the job for that long.

In case you have only seen newborns in movies or perhaps the morning after during a hospital visit, they are ugly scary creatures. Check out this informative slideshow over at the Mayo Clinic. It's meant to ensure expecting parents their deformed child is actually normal and will look just fine in no time.

They are bloated, blotchy, prune-like monsters that we encourage to cry just so we know they are OK. And we all smile and ensure the mother their new creation is beautiful. Who wouldn't look terrible after a trip down that cramped birth canal?

So congrats Battaglino for your impressive stats. That's a whole lot of birthing fluid to remember fondly.