Report: Minnesota still Minnesota, snow, ice, misery returning Monday

Your Minneapolis-St. Paul Monday commute could look JUST like this... or NOTHING like this. That's the fun of weather!

Your Minneapolis-St. Paul Monday commute could look JUST like this... or NOTHING like this. That's the fun of weather! Jim Gehrz, Star Tribune

Awfully sunny in the Twin Cities today, which you know if you've been outside, or even if you just have a window and... sight. 

Though the temperature's not supposed to get above the mid-20s on Friday, the Twin Cities forecast calls for a Saturday high of 34 degrees. And Sunday? By God, Sunday the high is supposed to be 39 degrees. Let's all jump in some lakes! 

And then get right the hell back out of them. As the downers at the National Weather Service warn, Minnesota is expecting an "impactful wintry mixed precipitation event" -- a phrase which, sadly, does not refer to what happens when you get Cardi B to appear at your Super Bowl party.

Said "event" is supposed to roll in some time Sunday night into Monday morning. Thursday evening, the local NWS forecasters said "almost everyone" in Minnesota "will see snow." 

Last night, they revised this stance to say the situation is still "very fluid." As in, there is a bunch of fluid on the way, and all we're waiting to figure out is what form it will take when it hits you in the face. 

An accompanying map graphc says southern Minnesota and the southern tip of the Twin Cities have the "best chance of ice" in this storm system, while central Minnesota and the northern half of the metro region has the "best chance of snow." That means those lucky few living right in the middle of the Twin Cities, like Minneapolis, are still in the running for some of both! 

How much we talking? Some "3 to 7 inches" along a northern band of the snow front, per the latest NWS model, and "less than 3 inches south of a Redwood Falls-Twin Cities-Eau Claire line." Funny thing about that: Redwood Falls to Minneapolis to Eau Claire is not so much a "line" as it is an arc. Meaning, a bunch of snow's falling somewhere, some snow is falling south of that, and some ice will be falling south of that

The best part is, we'll only be figuring out what substance landed where, and in what amount, right around the time fools like you are trying to go back to work. What are you still doing here? You could be at the beach. And you would be, if only you'd invited Cardi B to your party.

Don't worry, though, we'll be out of this here winter in no time. March is just around the corner! It's not even a leap year!